Until Marriage Comes Along, What Are You Supposed To Do In A Dating Relationship?

Until marriage comes along, what are you supposed to do in a dating relationship? How can you be a godly girlfriend and boyfriend? Your dating relationship lays a strong foundation of what you will become when you eventually marry. These are some tips of what is expected of godly boyfriend and girlfriend in a dating relationship.

1. Be Christ-Centered.

The most foundational trait for being a good christian brother or good christian sister is to be Christ-Centered. Any girl or boy that does not have Christ as his or her center will not be able to become a godly girlfriend/boyfriend or have a healthy, God-honoring relationship. Such a man or woman will be  in danger of having his or her friend become her or his center, his or her all, his or her everything which is honestly, idolatry. Anything coming first in your heart, before Christ, is your god as the Bible says in Deutronomy.11:16.“But be careful. Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods".The greatest command for God’s followers is to love Him with ALL their hearts and souls. You must love God foremost before you can truly love a christian brother or christian sister during your period of dating without committing an immoral act.

2. Be Confident in Christ.

Know who you are in Christ and exactly how He feels about you. You don't go about “fishing” for compliments or need constant assurance of your friend's feelings. If you do that you will tend to worry a lot in that relationship. And in your insecurity, you keep worrying about the future of the relationship, how he or she is feeling, or if he or she finds you attractive. Your confidence should be built upon the fact that you know who you are in Christ and not upon the compliments or praises coming from your christian brother or christian sister.  John 12:43 says,"For they loved human praise more than the praise of God".  A godly christian man or christian sister walks with confidence, with a smile on his or her face because she or he knows whose child he or she is. You should fear the Lord and trust in His promises for you. Don’t get me wrong, hearing friend compliments or hearing how he or she feels is great, and should definitely express he or she cares for you, but be careful if that brings a smile to your heart more than knowing God, who created you, loves you more and thinks you are far more beautiful than any man or woman could.

3. Be Encouraging

As a godly christian brother’s or christian sister's Christ-centered, you should encourage your friend in his or her relationship with God. It’s as simple as saying, “Ok, we’re going to end hanging out earlier tonight because I need time with God ” or “What’d you learn at church today?” While the godly christian man encourages his christian sister’s relationship with God, he does not lead her in it or to it. She should already be actively going to church, not going just because he started taking her. He’s an encourager, not enforcer or leader. 1 Thess.5:11 says; "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing". Romans 1:12 says: "When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours". Each person must have her or his own growing relationship with God. Not only do you encourage your  christian brother or christian sister spiritually, you also encourage them emotionally  Proverbs 21:7 says."The violence of the wicked sweeps them away, because they refuse to do what is just". Everyone especially Guys need to know they are respected. If your male friend gets a scholarship, a job promotion, let him know you’re proud of him and vice versa.

4. Be  Supportive

A good christian sister supports his hobbies as said in Phil.2:4: "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too". Find out what your male friend’s interested in and support him. Play a video game with him sometimes. Listen to him practice the guitar. Whatever it is, show you care about the things that matter to him, not just what matters to you. Also the christian brother should make her female friend  responsible. Seek her advice to show that you value her opinion. Include her in your decision-making process.

5. Be Independent.

A godly christian sister not only has her own spiritual walk but also HER OWN LIFE. Eccl. 4:9-10 says."You have captured my heart, my treasure,* my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. 10 Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices". Even in Song of Songs, the friends protected, encouraged, and held their beloved female friend accountable. A christian brother should make her female friend accountable. Make sure she shares with the reward and consequences of the decision you both made together. She does not throw away her own interests and desires. Don’t forget, your interests and hobbies make you both unique and special. A godly christian sister keeps seeking God’s will for her life. keeping with the plans she knows the Lord has for her and don't change your degree to match his or start planning on living where he is. Don't  plan your life around him but around what you know God has for you at that moment in your life till you are married. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take".

6. Be Nice

 Is Christ your first love? Do you date godly guys? Are you thoughtful of your  male friend or female friend? When these 3 things are in check and God is the center of your dating life, then the dating road will be a lot less bumpy. Of course, not every relationship will end in marriage but each one will be healthier, more God-honoring, and filled with a lot less regrets because God’s in control.

MARRIAGE INSTITUTION UNDER A FIERCE ATTACK!

Today all over the world the enemy is attacking the institution of marriage in a fierce and subtle ways. This is really affecting Christians and non-Christians marriages resulting in the breakdown of a significant number of marriages. We need to understand the serious nature of the conflict and reinforce our defense against the lies that Satan is spreading, standing on the truth that God has revealed in His word.

The time to prepare for marriage is not when you are just about to get married, rather it is now. Allow the Spirit of God to begin to shape your thinking on marriage because it is the second most important decision you will make in your entire life and should be considered with the utmost seriousness. If you marry "well" you will bring "heaven" down to earth. If you make a foolish choice, you may bring yourself down into the pits of a "hellish" life.

1. Practical Principles:
Set your heart on growing in intimacy with Jesus: Philippians 3 vs 10 says, "I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him, sharing in His death". NLT.
This is not to say that a  love relationship with another human being is of little significance in God's eyes rather you are acknowledging God's greatest commandment to love Him first and foremost above all others with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. When you put first thing first, you are bringing order and harmony into your life rather than confusion and conflict of interests. When you set your heart and mind on knowing Christ above all others, you will discover that God blesses you in your human relationship and uses them for His glory.

2. Put Your Trust In God:
Proverbs 3 vs 5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; not depend on your own understanding. Vs 6 Seek His will in all you do and he will show you which path to take". NLT
Marriage is most important aspect of our lives which we must commit into God's loving hands. He is our loving Shepherd and wants to guide us and provide His need in our lives in the most satisfying and fulfilling way. We express our truth in God by praying to Him, asking for His help, direction and overruling in the whole matter of marriage. Exodus 15 vs 13.

3. Studying the scripture about God's will and standards concerning marriage:
2 Timothy 2 vs 15 says, "Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive His approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth". NLT

2 Timothy 3 vs 14-16 says,"But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. 15 You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right".NLT
We should build our life on His word and build His word into our lives. The word alone tells us how to live for Him and serve Him. We are surrounded by false teachings, therefore we must not allow our society to distort or crowd our God's eternal truth. Spend time to reflect on the foundation of our faith in God's word, the great truth that build up our lives.

CREATION OF MAN AND WOMAN!

Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings* in our image, to be like ourselves. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”

Genesis 2:7 Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

Genesis 2:22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

These passages explain the creation of man and woman. Genesis chapter 1 vs 26 told us that "MAN" was created in the image of God. Image here means Character or essence. It does not mean to look like but to have the same material of a thing. We have the same quality and characteristics as God the Creator. "Man" here is a neutral gender.In essence man and woman have the same spirit of God. And spirit has no gender. The word proclaims MAN, both male and female in the image and likeness of God. Man and woman were created simultaneously.

But "The Man" in Genesis chapter 2 vs 7 was formed first. Formed is different from created. Formed means developed and created means original form. The Lord God formed "the man". In this case the scripture no longer say just "MAN" but specifies "the man" referring to a particular man. The man ADAM!
 * "the man" was FORMED from the ground. meaning that  "the man" was never in a existence. Something formed is still lifeless until life is breath into it. It shows God was source of life for man.
* A woman was MADE  from what was already in existence. Made means formed from what was already developed. Something made is formed from already living thing. A woman draws life from  "the man".

Though God breathes life into the man's body, He did not breathes life into the woman's body because she came from a body that was already living. Man and woman have the same spirit in line with Genesis 1 vs 26, but gender different physically in line with Genesis 2 vs 7, 22. Life was activated in the body because of the spirit of God dwelling in it.This account dignifies woman as an important factor in the creation, equal in power and glory with the man.

Without "the man" there will not be "a woman". Likewise, without a head there will not be a body. Therefore, we can deduce that the success of a marriage lies with "the man" or the head. The functionality of a woman is to be a helper to "the man".The man is expected to treat the woman that came from him with love. He is to cherish and nourish her as his own. In the same way, a woman whom "the man" gave life to should look up to him with respect. She is to complement and complete him!

This is the foundation of marriage of which if understood and constantly keep in view, will surmount the challenges and storms of life.
       

GOD CENTERED DATING RELATIONSHIP!

Do you want to have God at the center of your dating relationship? Would you like God to influence the love you show another person? Dating is how we go about inspecting a foundation to build a successful marriage upon. It is imperative that the person 'you' choose to marry and build your life with - has a very similar belief and value system, which is exceptional - for 'you' to then give him or her - the final "pass inspection" stamp. This foundation you are inspecting is CHRIST. How is the person relationship with God like? How committed is the person with the things of God? You must, above all else - make sure that the person 'you' have chosen to build your marriage and life with - is exceptional as an individual - first. This initial step must be cleared, before you even think of building anything together - of which you expect to last. The long-term success for your marriage can only be ensured - 'if' you take the responsible position to make sure your intended marriage partner - passes the initial inspection 'while' dating! We do not and never will change another person... no matter how cute or persuasive you think you are.

Here is some advice that can help you pursue God’s will for your life and in your dating relationship.

1.Remember that God’s Love is the ultimate. Knowing the love God has for you means that you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel (a weakness of human love): the most perfect love comes from God. Make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.

2.Know the ideal match for you. Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your male friend or female friend to keep God the focus.

3.Talk about God. Make an effort to bring God into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds, you will also find out about each others beliefs. Talking about a spiritual subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance. Discussing God also allows you to build up each others knowledge and confidence.

4. Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts (such as sitting on lap, laying on each other or sensual kissing and massages).  In this day and age of dating question like whether “premarital physical activity at some level beyond kissing is ok” sound ridiculous to the world, even in the Christian fold, however, in the eyes of single Christian men and women it remains one of many moral dilemmas faced in the dating arena. Whether dating for the first time or you are convinced this is your Christian match, Christians need to know just how far is far enough when it comes to kissing and other forms of physical intimacy. In search of answers to this question one must seek the Bible to see what God has to say about kissing. While the Bible does not specifically mention "kissing" it does make reference to various forms of physical intimacy. Whether you look at kissing from strictly a Biblical perspective or take a more physiological standpoint the conclusion one comes to is the same. Kissing is a powerful entity not to be taken lightly by the Christian single. "Charles Parles shed more light on the act of kissing from a purely physiological viewpoint. He said that kissing often leads to more problems for the single Christian desiring purity in their dating life. Both men and women have erogenous zones - meaning that these areas heightened sexual sensitivity which when touched may result in sexual excitement or stimulation. One of these erogenous zones is the mouth, specifically the lips which are filled with small nerve endings that make them more sensitive than any other part of the face. Once the lips touch in a kiss various neurotransmitters, hormones and endorphins are produced by the brain and body to include serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline. As a result our mood and feelings are affected, heart rate is increased, blood vessels dilated and hormones that help us regulate feelings of attachment, devotion and affection are released". Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people.” Anything that even “hints” of sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian. The Bible does not give us a list of what qualifies as a “hint” or tell us what physical activities are approved for a couple to engage in before marriage. However, just because the Bible does not specifically address the issue does not mean God approves of “pre-sexual” activity before marriage. By essence, foreplay is designed to get one ready for sex. Logically then, foreplay should be restricted to married couples. Anything that can be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage.


5.Cherish your own personal God time. Make sure you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate love, it is good to have that time alone with Him.
Make sure your male friend or female friend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him.Trust and know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.

Keep in mind the reality that God is real. While having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss. God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your life right now.

TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT WAY!

When children start coming into a family the question that usually comes to mind is “How can I make sure that my child/ren will go in the right way he or she should go so that he or she will not be misled off the path of righteousness?

First, parenting a child/ren the way God would want us to is beyond our human ability. Therefore, we need to partner with Him and partake of His gifts of wisdom, discernment, revelation and guidance. Also, we must ask God to give us the love, patience, strength, the nurturing and communication skills we must have to be able to raise them up properly.

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

If a child is train in the way he should go, when the responsibility to stay in it comes, he will do so. When you give a child a complete series of instructions on every step he is to take, when he is taught how to perform his duties, how to escape from danger, how to appropriate the blessings of the way, and stamp these lessons on his soul and lead him to practice them until it becomes part of his life and nature, and then bath him in prayer and instill the fear of God into his life, he will not depart from it.

In the process of helping our children “choose the right path” we must discern differing path for each child. It is natural to want to bring up all our children alike or train them the same way. It is the duty of the parents to discern the individuality and special strengths that God has given each one. While we should not condone or excuse self-will, each child has natural inclinations that parents can develop their individual capabilities of each child. Many parents want to make all the choices for their children, but this hurts them in the long run. When parents teach a child how to make decisions, they don’t have to watch every step they take. They know their children will remain on the right path because they have made the choices themselves.

When a child is growing up to know what is right and wrong, it is the responsibility of the parents to let the child understand who God is and what He requires from him or her. A child should understand that he or she was born a sinner and therefore has that inclination to please himself or herself rather than God. And then must ask God to cleanse him or her from within and fill his or her heart and spirit with God’s thought and desires because right conduct can come only from a clean heart and spirit. A child must be thought to put God first in his or her life and serve and obey God in everything he or she does. When a child knows in his or her sub consciousness that without God he or she will amount to nothing in life, it will guide him or her to walk in the right way.

Proverbs 22:15 says “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Young children often do foolish and dangerous things simply because they don’t understand the consequences. Wisdom and common sense are not transferred by a parent’s good example alone. Just as God trains and correct us to make us better in Proverbs 3:11-12, not that He enjoys inflicting pains on us but because He is deeply concerned about our development. So also must parents discipline their children to help them learn the difference between right and wrong?

Proverbs 22:13-14 says vs13 “Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with rod, he shall not die. Vs 14: Thou shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.”

Many parents are reluctant to discipline their children at all. Some fear that they will forfeit their relationship, their children will resent them, or they will stifle their children’s development. But correction won’t kill children, and it may prevent them from foolish moves that will.

Without the spiritual support of the parents to their children, they would be left alone with their sin and Satan. Parents should out of love punish their children to correct and restore them to God.

Ephesians 6:4 says “And, ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Colossians 3: 21 says “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

The purpose of parents disciple is to help children grow, not to exasperate and provoke them to anger or discouragement. Parenting is not easy – it takes lot of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Instead parents should act in love, treating their children as Jesus treats the people He loves. This is vital to children’s development and to their understanding of what Christ is like. Also, favoritism should be avoided in the families as it would aggravate a strained relationship between the favored child and the other siblings. Parents may not be able to change their feelings towards a favorite child, but they can change their actions towards the others. Children must be handled with care. They need firm discipline administered in love. Don’t aggravate them by nagging, deriding or destroying their self-respect so that they quit trying.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says vs. 6: “And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart. Vsv7: and thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

If you want your children to follow God, you must make God a part of your everyday experience. You must teach your children diligently to see God in all aspects of life, not just those that are church related. Make your child to be LIFE-ORIENTED and not INFORMATION-ORIENTED. The key to teaching your children to follow God is when parents themselves are living a lifestyle of faith in God and taking God’s word an integral part of their life. You can only impact what you have into your children.  In Psalms 78:5, God commanded that the stories of His mighty acts in the Bible be passed on from parents to children. This will help them to obey God and set their hope on Him alone.

Psalms 127:3-5 says vs3: “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His word. Vs4: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Vs5: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

Too often children are seen as liabilities rather than assets. But the Bible calls children “a gift from the Lord”, a reward. Those who view children as a distraction or nuisance should instead see them as an opportunity to shape the future. We dare not treat children as an inconvenience when God values them so highly.