What can you do for your marriage? How can you increase your marital
satisfaction and improve your relationship? The crucial thing is that
you have to let go of expecting your spouse to change and work on
yourself. Developing a better marriage begins with becoming a better
spouse yourself! You can't change someone else. You can only change
yourself. And trying to change your spouse will create tension in your
relationship and actually discourage him or her from changing.
Marriages do not fail; it is the people in the marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. Many people believe that it is only when couples are separated or divorced that they have failed in their marriage. There are wrong! Couples fail in marriage the moment they stop following properly the most infallible instructions on how married couples should treat one another as designed by God. When the word of God is the sure foundation; the fear of God the constant motivation; the will of God the sole aim; and the love of God the abiding inspiration for any married couple, they are on the right part in building a strong and solid marriage relationship and God Himself will be an enemy to the enemies of that marriage and will oppose those who oppose them.
The common view of marriage is predominantly physical. Often marriage is not seriously considered. It is entered upon almost by instinct and impulse. It is something that is primarily built upon physical attraction and physical gratification and sensual feeling of something which the world calls `love'. How, then, is the Christian to view marriage? Marriage, according to Ephesians 5, is to be a mirror which reflects the love of Christ for the church and the love which the church has for Christ. Marriage is to reflect that glorious relationship. It is an astonishing thought that every Christian marriage is to portray the love of Christ for the Church. This is a great mystery. Can our children say to the unconverted that Christ's love for the church is something like their mother's and father's love for each other? The Christian marriage is to radiate the amazing and sacrificial love of Christ. Divine love is to permeate the Christian home, and this is why none should enter marriage lightly and inadvisedly, but thoughtfully and wisely, considering the purposes for which marriage was instituted. This then is the biblical ideal set before us.
When the bride marries a husband, she takes his name. He bestows his name on her and they share the same life and the same name. When a person is converted he takes the name of Christ and becomes a member of the true church, being called a Christian. The Lord Jesus Christ bestows His own name on the church. The bride also shares the husband's dignity and position in life. It doesn't matter who the bride was before the marriage; the moment she enters the marriage relationship, she is one with her husband. The church was as a woman forsaken, but now is the bride of Christ. The church shares His dignity. Our Lord said in John 17:22-23, "The glory which Thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as We are one: I in them, and Thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that Thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as Thou has loved me." It is an astonishing thing that God the Father loves us just as He loves His Son. In human marriage the two shall be one flesh, having a shared life, name, glory and dignity. There is a unity and oneness in the relationship. The bride's whole life is in the husband. The greatest advertisement for the power of the gospel is the Christian home, and that which will commend the gospel to this decadent age is the Christian marriage, and that is why Satan is attacking it with relentless force. In this end times every married couple must prayerfully sit down together and take out the word of God and put their marriage right and constantly bring their marriage to the bar of Holy Scripture if must overcome.
Marriages fail because many who marry attempt to achieve a strong, enduring bond based primarily on emotions. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ (1 Cor 3:11). If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3) In most relationships the love and acceptance continue as long as the other person is meeting a certain level of expectation. But when the feelings cool, one or both find they have no reserve or capability to love an obviously imperfect person. Now needs are not met which causes hurt, promotes defensiveness, reduces positive communication, heightens misunderstanding, provokes conflict, fuels anger and bitterness. If forgiveness and reconciliation do not break this downward spiral; the ability to love one another is paralyzed. For a relationship to succeed, teamwork is required and both persons need to deny many of their personal wishes. Self-sacrifice must replace selfishness. Sometimes one person in the marriage can do this reasonably well but eventually patience runs out. It takes two to tangle. Self-sacrifice is not natural and is prevalent in a life with Jesus but selfishness is natural and it is prevalent in a life without Jesus. Selfishness breaks down the spirit of cooperation. Also, we live in a world that is imperfect and honestly all of us are affected by our tendency toward selfishness. But as the originator and designer of marriage, God knows how relationships work. He wants us to first have a relationship with Him and then look to Him for direction. For marriages to work Him must be in control from start to finish.
An extramarital affair is the most difficult situation that can affect a marital relationship. It eliminates the emotional bond between spouses, violates the basic trust each partner has for each other and it jeopardizes the health and well being of both parties. An affair is not only a sexual event—it is an emotional event. It is usually a consequence of the emotional distance between the married couple. In a rather paradoxical manner, the extramarital affair may also temporarily create closeness between the couple but will ultimately send the relationship into a terrifying state of panic. Usually, poor relationships between a husband and wife result in one of them or both seeking extramarital affairs. Sometimes, the involved partner will justify that the affair is an attempt at “disrupting the status quo” in his or her marriage - that is you must live together as custom demands but can still catch some fun outside because it is accepted in the world). If the relationship has drifted into stagnation, lack of emotional contact, habitual criticism and argument, constant conflict, or just plain emotional distance and coolness, then the affair will eventually put the final nail into the coffin. Culture does play a very significant role in our attitudes and actions regarding marriage.
Christian marriage must not be shaped by culture, but by the cross of Christ, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God: Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11; Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 4:17-24). When Christians comes to marriage, we dare not allow the world (our culture) to shape our thinking, our attitudes, or our actions. WHOSOEVER INDULGES IN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR LACKS UNDERSTANDING AND DESTROYS HIS OWN SOUL! DO NOT ALLOW FIVE MINUTES EXTRAMARITAL PLEASURE DESTROY YOUR SOUL! The consequences are too much to bear.
The continual flow of love that is needed between a husband and wife starts with the husband. Let me explain. The number one need of a man is companionship: having his wife as his playmate in those things that interest him and give him relaxation and pleasure. But that is not the number one need of a woman. The number one need of a woman is affection. Because the number one needs are different for a man and a woman, it presents a problem. That is, if a husband naturally expresses himself to his wife, he will overlook her needs to fulfill his own. And if a wife naturally expresses herself to her husband, she will overlook his needs to fulfill her own. A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IS BASED UPON SOMEONE GIVING UP HIS/HER NUMBER ONE NEED TO SATISFY THE NEED OF THE OTHER.
When a man and a woman go through a marriage ceremony, God places upon them a debt they must pay. The debt is to “owe no one anything EXCEPT to love each other…” (Romans 13:8). A major part of this lack of love in the family is because of the man’s failure as a husband. The husband has a vital role in producing love, which is God’s nature, in a family. Because “...the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23), a great responsibility is placed upon him by God to lay down his life for his family.
Life is in five part namely physical(sexual), spiritual, social, mental and emotion. Most couples connect easily mentally, sexually, emotionally and socially but find it difficult connecting spiritually. In the eyes of the world these couples are successful in their marriages. But the main thing which is the spiritual that make them have a place eternally with God in heaven was not harnessed. Spiritual is what connect couples with their creator, while the other four connect them to the world. So until a couple is connected spiritually that marriage is said to have failed before God.
When the word of God is the sure foundation; the fear of God the constant motivation; the will of God the sole aim; and the love of God the abiding inspiration for any married couple, they are on the right part in building a strong and solid marriage relationship and God Himself will be an enemy to the enemies of that marriage and will oppose those who oppose them. Exodus 23:22
Marriages do not fail; it is the people in the marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. Many people believe that it is only when couples are separated or divorced that they have failed in their marriage. There are wrong! Couples fail in marriage the moment they stop following properly the most infallible instructions on how married couples should treat one another as designed by God. When the word of God is the sure foundation; the fear of God the constant motivation; the will of God the sole aim; and the love of God the abiding inspiration for any married couple, they are on the right part in building a strong and solid marriage relationship and God Himself will be an enemy to the enemies of that marriage and will oppose those who oppose them.
The common view of marriage is predominantly physical. Often marriage is not seriously considered. It is entered upon almost by instinct and impulse. It is something that is primarily built upon physical attraction and physical gratification and sensual feeling of something which the world calls `love'. How, then, is the Christian to view marriage? Marriage, according to Ephesians 5, is to be a mirror which reflects the love of Christ for the church and the love which the church has for Christ. Marriage is to reflect that glorious relationship. It is an astonishing thought that every Christian marriage is to portray the love of Christ for the Church. This is a great mystery. Can our children say to the unconverted that Christ's love for the church is something like their mother's and father's love for each other? The Christian marriage is to radiate the amazing and sacrificial love of Christ. Divine love is to permeate the Christian home, and this is why none should enter marriage lightly and inadvisedly, but thoughtfully and wisely, considering the purposes for which marriage was instituted. This then is the biblical ideal set before us.
When the bride marries a husband, she takes his name. He bestows his name on her and they share the same life and the same name. When a person is converted he takes the name of Christ and becomes a member of the true church, being called a Christian. The Lord Jesus Christ bestows His own name on the church. The bride also shares the husband's dignity and position in life. It doesn't matter who the bride was before the marriage; the moment she enters the marriage relationship, she is one with her husband. The church was as a woman forsaken, but now is the bride of Christ. The church shares His dignity. Our Lord said in John 17:22-23, "The glory which Thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as We are one: I in them, and Thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that Thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as Thou has loved me." It is an astonishing thing that God the Father loves us just as He loves His Son. In human marriage the two shall be one flesh, having a shared life, name, glory and dignity. There is a unity and oneness in the relationship. The bride's whole life is in the husband. The greatest advertisement for the power of the gospel is the Christian home, and that which will commend the gospel to this decadent age is the Christian marriage, and that is why Satan is attacking it with relentless force. In this end times every married couple must prayerfully sit down together and take out the word of God and put their marriage right and constantly bring their marriage to the bar of Holy Scripture if must overcome.
Marriages fail because many who marry attempt to achieve a strong, enduring bond based primarily on emotions. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ (1 Cor 3:11). If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3) In most relationships the love and acceptance continue as long as the other person is meeting a certain level of expectation. But when the feelings cool, one or both find they have no reserve or capability to love an obviously imperfect person. Now needs are not met which causes hurt, promotes defensiveness, reduces positive communication, heightens misunderstanding, provokes conflict, fuels anger and bitterness. If forgiveness and reconciliation do not break this downward spiral; the ability to love one another is paralyzed. For a relationship to succeed, teamwork is required and both persons need to deny many of their personal wishes. Self-sacrifice must replace selfishness. Sometimes one person in the marriage can do this reasonably well but eventually patience runs out. It takes two to tangle. Self-sacrifice is not natural and is prevalent in a life with Jesus but selfishness is natural and it is prevalent in a life without Jesus. Selfishness breaks down the spirit of cooperation. Also, we live in a world that is imperfect and honestly all of us are affected by our tendency toward selfishness. But as the originator and designer of marriage, God knows how relationships work. He wants us to first have a relationship with Him and then look to Him for direction. For marriages to work Him must be in control from start to finish.
An extramarital affair is the most difficult situation that can affect a marital relationship. It eliminates the emotional bond between spouses, violates the basic trust each partner has for each other and it jeopardizes the health and well being of both parties. An affair is not only a sexual event—it is an emotional event. It is usually a consequence of the emotional distance between the married couple. In a rather paradoxical manner, the extramarital affair may also temporarily create closeness between the couple but will ultimately send the relationship into a terrifying state of panic. Usually, poor relationships between a husband and wife result in one of them or both seeking extramarital affairs. Sometimes, the involved partner will justify that the affair is an attempt at “disrupting the status quo” in his or her marriage - that is you must live together as custom demands but can still catch some fun outside because it is accepted in the world). If the relationship has drifted into stagnation, lack of emotional contact, habitual criticism and argument, constant conflict, or just plain emotional distance and coolness, then the affair will eventually put the final nail into the coffin. Culture does play a very significant role in our attitudes and actions regarding marriage.
Christian marriage must not be shaped by culture, but by the cross of Christ, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God: Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11; Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 4:17-24). When Christians comes to marriage, we dare not allow the world (our culture) to shape our thinking, our attitudes, or our actions. WHOSOEVER INDULGES IN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR LACKS UNDERSTANDING AND DESTROYS HIS OWN SOUL! DO NOT ALLOW FIVE MINUTES EXTRAMARITAL PLEASURE DESTROY YOUR SOUL! The consequences are too much to bear.
The continual flow of love that is needed between a husband and wife starts with the husband. Let me explain. The number one need of a man is companionship: having his wife as his playmate in those things that interest him and give him relaxation and pleasure. But that is not the number one need of a woman. The number one need of a woman is affection. Because the number one needs are different for a man and a woman, it presents a problem. That is, if a husband naturally expresses himself to his wife, he will overlook her needs to fulfill his own. And if a wife naturally expresses herself to her husband, she will overlook his needs to fulfill her own. A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IS BASED UPON SOMEONE GIVING UP HIS/HER NUMBER ONE NEED TO SATISFY THE NEED OF THE OTHER.
When a man and a woman go through a marriage ceremony, God places upon them a debt they must pay. The debt is to “owe no one anything EXCEPT to love each other…” (Romans 13:8). A major part of this lack of love in the family is because of the man’s failure as a husband. The husband has a vital role in producing love, which is God’s nature, in a family. Because “...the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23), a great responsibility is placed upon him by God to lay down his life for his family.
Life is in five part namely physical(sexual), spiritual, social, mental and emotion. Most couples connect easily mentally, sexually, emotionally and socially but find it difficult connecting spiritually. In the eyes of the world these couples are successful in their marriages. But the main thing which is the spiritual that make them have a place eternally with God in heaven was not harnessed. Spiritual is what connect couples with their creator, while the other four connect them to the world. So until a couple is connected spiritually that marriage is said to have failed before God.
When the word of God is the sure foundation; the fear of God the constant motivation; the will of God the sole aim; and the love of God the abiding inspiration for any married couple, they are on the right part in building a strong and solid marriage relationship and God Himself will be an enemy to the enemies of that marriage and will oppose those who oppose them. Exodus 23:22
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