TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT WAY!

When children start coming into a family the question that usually comes to mind is “How can I make sure that my child/ren will go in the right way he or she should go so that he or she will not be misled off the path of righteousness?

First, parenting a child/ren the way God would want us to is beyond our human ability. Therefore, we need to partner with Him and partake of His gifts of wisdom, discernment, revelation and guidance. Also, we must ask God to give us the love, patience, strength, the nurturing and communication skills we must have to be able to raise them up properly.

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

If a child is train in the way he should go, when the responsibility to stay in it comes, he will do so. When you give a child a complete series of instructions on every step he is to take, when he is taught how to perform his duties, how to escape from danger, how to appropriate the blessings of the way, and stamp these lessons on his soul and lead him to practice them until it becomes part of his life and nature, and then bath him in prayer and instill the fear of God into his life, he will not depart from it.

In the process of helping our children “choose the right path” we must discern differing path for each child. It is natural to want to bring up all our children alike or train them the same way. It is the duty of the parents to discern the individuality and special strengths that God has given each one. While we should not condone or excuse self-will, each child has natural inclinations that parents can develop their individual capabilities of each child. Many parents want to make all the choices for their children, but this hurts them in the long run. When parents teach a child how to make decisions, they don’t have to watch every step they take. They know their children will remain on the right path because they have made the choices themselves.

When a child is growing up to know what is right and wrong, it is the responsibility of the parents to let the child understand who God is and what He requires from him or her. A child should understand that he or she was born a sinner and therefore has that inclination to please himself or herself rather than God. And then must ask God to cleanse him or her from within and fill his or her heart and spirit with God’s thought and desires because right conduct can come only from a clean heart and spirit. A child must be thought to put God first in his or her life and serve and obey God in everything he or she does. When a child knows in his or her sub consciousness that without God he or she will amount to nothing in life, it will guide him or her to walk in the right way.

Proverbs 22:15 says “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Young children often do foolish and dangerous things simply because they don’t understand the consequences. Wisdom and common sense are not transferred by a parent’s good example alone. Just as God trains and correct us to make us better in Proverbs 3:11-12, not that He enjoys inflicting pains on us but because He is deeply concerned about our development. So also must parents discipline their children to help them learn the difference between right and wrong?

Proverbs 22:13-14 says vs13 “Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with rod, he shall not die. Vs 14: Thou shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.”

Many parents are reluctant to discipline their children at all. Some fear that they will forfeit their relationship, their children will resent them, or they will stifle their children’s development. But correction won’t kill children, and it may prevent them from foolish moves that will.

Without the spiritual support of the parents to their children, they would be left alone with their sin and Satan. Parents should out of love punish their children to correct and restore them to God.

Ephesians 6:4 says “And, ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Colossians 3: 21 says “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

The purpose of parents disciple is to help children grow, not to exasperate and provoke them to anger or discouragement. Parenting is not easy – it takes lot of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Instead parents should act in love, treating their children as Jesus treats the people He loves. This is vital to children’s development and to their understanding of what Christ is like. Also, favoritism should be avoided in the families as it would aggravate a strained relationship between the favored child and the other siblings. Parents may not be able to change their feelings towards a favorite child, but they can change their actions towards the others. Children must be handled with care. They need firm discipline administered in love. Don’t aggravate them by nagging, deriding or destroying their self-respect so that they quit trying.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says vs. 6: “And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart. Vsv7: and thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

If you want your children to follow God, you must make God a part of your everyday experience. You must teach your children diligently to see God in all aspects of life, not just those that are church related. Make your child to be LIFE-ORIENTED and not INFORMATION-ORIENTED. The key to teaching your children to follow God is when parents themselves are living a lifestyle of faith in God and taking God’s word an integral part of their life. You can only impact what you have into your children.  In Psalms 78:5, God commanded that the stories of His mighty acts in the Bible be passed on from parents to children. This will help them to obey God and set their hope on Him alone.

Psalms 127:3-5 says vs3: “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His word. Vs4: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Vs5: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

Too often children are seen as liabilities rather than assets. But the Bible calls children “a gift from the Lord”, a reward. Those who view children as a distraction or nuisance should instead see them as an opportunity to shape the future. We dare not treat children as an inconvenience when God values them so highly.

MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT GOD, NOT ABOUT THE COUPLE!

In Genesis 1 vs 26  it says, "Then God said, “Let us make human beings* in our image, to be like ourselves.........."  And in vs 27 it says, "So God created human beings* in his own image.

In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." 

God created man and woman in His image and designed them to function in a certain way that will bring glory to His name. Anything less that way distorts His image, defeats His intention and limits our effectiveness as His servants.

Marriage is all about God, not about the couple! Marriage was not designed as a place where couples can try to get their needs met. It was designed by God to be used to accomplished a very important goal which is to help shape them into the image of His Son. It is all about meeting God's need first. Then as we strive in our pursuit to meet His need, He supplies us all we need to accomplish His purpose through us.

What is the need of God in marriage? His need is for us to demonstrate and reflect the image and the character of His Son in our marriages. Your marriage is not primarily about you, your spouse, your children or your family, is not primarily about your sexual fulfillment,  it is about God. Until we grasp this, we will never have a proper foundation for thinking godly about marriage.

What are the characteristics of God?  God's characteristics are love, patience, long-suffering, forgiveness, kindness, peace, joy and faithfulness. Since we are made in God’s image and share many of His characteristics, it provides a solid basis for our self worth.  Self worth is based on being made in God’s image and not based on possession, achievement, physical attractiveness or public acclaim.

To evaluate  your personal success in your marriage, you must not look to see if your needs are met, but how much you are becoming like Christ. The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other. And the goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development.

Understanding God's purpose for marriage is important before you enter into it, because to marry and miss it is to enter "into a life of frustration and disappointment- setting a stage for great marital unrest.

SINGLE-HOOD!

Singles become consumed with the idea of how wonderful life would be if they just had a marriage partner, and then they make concessions and compromises that lead to marriage out of God’s timing and out of God’s will. To feel accepted by another person and avoid the stigma of being single, they enter into unhealthy relationships and compromise values they once held dear.

The more consumed you become with the idea of marriage and/or sex, the more easily you can slip into a pattern of fantasizing. It might start as innocently as fantasizing about being with another person, perhaps someone at work or church. Then you might progress to fantasizing about the children you’d have together or where you would live. If they continue unchecked, your thoughts could become a full-blown X-rated video that stays stuck on replay in your mind until it replays in your life. The powerful feelings that accompany such thoughts can lead people into marriages God never ordained and intimate relationships He never approved.

The Bible declares that as a man “thinketh in heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7, KJV). What a strange thought! How can you think with your heart? We normally associate thought with the brain and feelings with the heart. The phrase “to think in the heart” refers to thoughtful reflection. Many ideas are briefly entertained by the mind without ever penetrating the heart. But those ideas that do grasp us in our innermost parts are the ideas that shape our lives. When our thoughts are corrupted, our lives follow suit. We are what we think.

If God gives you the gift of singleness, He may use that quality in a special way that would not be available to you as a married person—for a season or a lifetime. God’s sovereign will is always meant for your good and His glory. If and when God decides you can best serve Him as a team member with a life partner, you won’t need to change Sunday school classes, search the singles ads, or join a dating service He will work out the circumstances. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD”(Proverbs 18:22). This favor of the Lord is what God extends to His children in arranging the circumstances for them to meet their life partners.

Deciding who you will marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. But the chief enemy you fight in choosing God’s best will be your own strong inclination to make a good choice instead of a God choice. A good choice will work some of the time; a God choice will work all the time.

A man who falls in love with a woman’s attentiveness may find it is the very quality that drives him crazy when he can’t get enough space. A woman who falls in love with a man’s drive to succeed may find that quality irritating and destructive when he spends more time at work than at home. What might seem like a good choice at the time may not be a God choice for a lifetime. If you “lean on your own understanding,” you will find out that the more you struggle, the deeper you go down. 

The question is not how to find a mate, but who will find the mate. God will direct you in choosing God’s best. Partner with God, don't do it alone!

CHRIST-CENTERED HOME!

What is a "Christ-centered home?" One thing's certain: it's not a home governed by dead, restrictive "religious" rules. Instead, it's a place where family members live their lives under the "bright shadow" of the presence of the Son of God — where people speak and act and relate to one another in the awareness that Jesus Himself is an intimately concerned participant in everything they do. It's a household of which it can truly be said, "Christ is the Head of this house, the Unseen Guest at every meal, the Silent Listener to every conversation."

How does this "Christ-centeredness" play itself out in the practical details of everyday life? To a certain extent it expresses itself differently from situation to situation. Every Christian family, like every Christian individual, is a poem written by God. See Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago", and every poem is unique. But there are some common features we can expect to find in every genuinely Christ-centered home.

In the first place, joy is characteristic of a truly Christian home. Having said this, it's crucial to add that joy and happiness are not necessarily the same thing. Happiness is a result of what happens to us. Joy has deeper roots. Every marriage and every family will encounter trials and hardships of various kinds, but there is no circumstance that can rob us of our joy if we know that the key to our present welfare and future destiny lies in Christ alone.

Second, a Christian home is orderly. As the apostle Paul says, "God is not the author of confusion but of peace" (I Corinthians 14:33). The members of the household regularly review everything that's allowed in. Should it stay? Does it build up the family? Does it encourage people to value one another over things?

Third, a Christ-centered home should be marked by grace. It should be a safe place to mess up. Family members need the ointment of grace applied to the wounds of their hearts. They need to remember that love, not perfection, is the goal. There's enough hostility, judgment, sarcasm, biting humor and antagonism out in the world. Home should be a retreat where the hurting can find comfort, rest and healing.

Fourth, a Christian home is a place of service. Its atmosphere is tempered and flavored with acts of kindness, respect, humility and love. This is where husbands and wives discover that serving each other in Christ is primary; that service to others in the outside world is founded upon an attitude of selflessness at home; and that all of life, including the mundane duties of laundry, housekeeping and lawn-mowing, can be sacred.

Fifth, a Christ-centered home is a place where the spiritual disciplines are practiced. It provides an environment in which every member of the family learns how to live by studying the Scriptures, praying, meditating on God's Word and spending time alone in the presence of the Lord.

Finally, a Christian home is based on God's purposes for every member of the household. It's a place where the family's goals are founded upon His values and where the corporate vision of the future is consistent with His plan. Developing a family "Mission Statement" can be a wonderful place to start crafting a genuinely Christ-centered home. The guiding principles embodied in this document should be flexible but consistent. From beginning to end, they should reflect your eternal focus and express your deep hope of seeing Jesus face to face one day.

GODLY WIFE!

 I believe that everything God's word says is true and that every Christian should take into account what it says and follow His word even if we don't like what it says.  Below is some of the information I gathered from the scripture and also from my personal experience.

1) Ephesians 5:22-24
" 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”
In Ephesians 22, God is asking wives to submit themselves unto their own husbands in a specific way; “.... as unto the Lord”. If that is the case, what then is the husband’s role? If you are not Christ-like, how difficult would it be for your wife to submit to you as unto the Lord? But if you are a godly man, being continually conformed to the image of Christ, and live just such a life in front of your wife and kids, then it would make sense for her to submit to you as unto the Lord. So you see, husbands, even though you do not have an explicit command in verse 22, you have an incredible responsibility. You must be like Christ!
But, wives know that your husbands will never be perfectly Christ-like. So what are you going to do about that? Will you rebel, manipulate and castigate until they are Christ-like? I hope not; a gracious, kind and forgiving wife will win that man toward godliness much quicker. Do not withhold submission until he is perfect. Show mercy; truly it is the strong one who has the character to give in first that wins the other over. Remember, Christ submission was voluntary and so too should yours be.

2) I Peter 3:1-6
"In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do."
Now one of the main themes I got from this passage is inward beauty. This means that a godly wife will have good character, a good heart (one that possesses the Fruit of the Spirit). These verses are not saying that every woman needs to give up on her outward appearance and start looking hideous. These verses are saying that it is what is inside that should draw the attention of your future husband, while outward appearance is a plus, but not the main focus. Another point in this scripture is that a godly wife who is saved and has a relationship with Christ should win over her husband who is unsaved; not by words but by the purity and reverence of her life, through her gentle and quiet spirit. Now how do you define a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit? How about this? How do you NOT define a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit? This woman (the one who is not gentle and quiet) is the aggressive, domineering woman. She always wants to be in control, telling her husband what to do and how to live his life. This is NOT the way a Christian household should be run. God put the husband in charge of the household and gave him the authority to make the household decisions. And wives are supposed to trust God through every decision that is made even if it sounds like a bad decision. We can't be supportive of him one minute and be in total disagreement with him the next. All of these things are the things that God looks for in a godly woman/wife. And these are the things that are pleasing to him.

3) Titus 2:3-5
"3 similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.* Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,* to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."
This scripture is focusing on how older women need to be examples to younger women. And by older women I do not mean 40's and above. Everyone is older than someone. Everyone is going to go through some similar things that you've gone through and they are going to want advice. And the reason we are able to give advice is because we have experience. But, to be able to give sound advice you need to be a firm believer in the Word of the Lord and follow its instructions. As older women we need to be good, GODLY examples to the younger women in our lives. Notice that one of the characteristics is to be workers at home. God placed women in the home because we are naturally nurturers. We are naturally able to take care of our home and care for our children. Not to mention women are incredible multi-taskers. We are able to comfort a child that's hurt while cooking dinner. We can do a lot of things at the same time in the house without feeling of tiredness.
Now why are we supposed to be good examples to younger women and teaching them what's right while doing what's right? Because if we don't, we give others a reason to revile God's word and are dishonoring and blaspheming it ourselves.

4) I Corinthians 7:3-5
"The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

Here, the passage said that husbands should fulfill their wives sexual needs which include her emotional, mental and spiritual need as well. When you put your wife’s needs first by God’s grace, your sexual needs will be met as well. Also, wives are to fulfill their husband’s sexual needs. The word “fulfill” means “to make full, to bring to completion, to develop the full potential”. You are to ensure that your husband is fully satisfied. The greatest sex should be among married couples who are devoted to Christ. Sex is a delight, it is also a duty. This means sex should never be used as a bribe or reward for good behavior or as something to be withheld as a threat or punishment. It is a “duty”. The spouse who withholds sex sins against God and his or her partner.  

A healthy sex life is a key to good marriage. Although sex should not be denied at anytime, a healthy sex life is when both spouses are in a good frame of mind, devoid of bitterness of heart. Bitterness has a chocking effect! It is a secret destroyer of sex! It causes havoc! It is deadly! Whatever will bring bitterness in the heart of a couple must be avoided or dealt with immediately so as not to hinder their sexual urge. Each partner must strive to fulfill their obligations towards one another.  Marriage ceases to work as it is designed the moment one person denies the other of sex. Having said this, there may be legitimate reasons for not having sex. Perhaps you can’t bear the thought of it, because you've just had a baby, or you are not well, or you are fasting or it’s something else. If this is the case, one of the most important things you can do is to talk about it with your spouse. Tell him what you’re thinking and try to explain what’s going on with you. He will appreciate this much more than you just giving him a hint that you are not interested in sex tonight.

Remember that God wants us to examine our motives (think of Jesus’ words about what goes on in the heart in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5). You are the only one who knows what’s in your heart, so reflect on the purpose of sex in marriage, and Paul’s word about each person having authority over the other’s body and not denying each other, and work out whether you have some valid reason for not having sex at this time, or whether you need to repent and work hard to be a better servant to your husband. Or maybe it’s a bit of both.

Above all, continue to pray to God that he would work in you by his Spirit, to make you servant-hearted and give you good knowledge of yourself and your motives. He’s a good God and he wants our marriages to work! Sex within the marriage, when approached with the right attitude, can be a relationship builder.

A woman must marry a man whose leadership she trust because she must follow him in everything. This is not to say that she cannot contribute, but the husband's word is final. This is why it is so important that she must trust his leadership before marriage, and that he trusts your willingness to follow him even when you do not totally agree.