WHAT IS THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is the celebration of daily commitment between a husband and wife. Marriage is the decision to commit yourself to your spouse alone.Once infidelity sets in, the purpose for that marriage is defeated.


Marriage is not an end in itself, it is a means to an end. As man is created in God's image, marriage is created in the image of Christ and the church. Therefore as man is required to imitate God (in being holy and living for His glory), marriage is to imitate the relationship between Christ and the church, with the husband imitating Christ (the sacrificial servant-leader) and the wife imitating the church (joyfully submitting to the sacrificial servant-leader).


The basis of true love in a marriage is commitment to God and your spouse alone. Nothing is more vital in a marriage than encouraging and appreciating your spouse. Be sure to tell your spouse, 'I love you' every day and show that love by your actions. It heals a lot of wounds. Communicating love and expressing admiration in both words and actions can enhance every marriage.


Why did God make men and women so unbelievably different? The main reason is so that we would have to depend on Him. God wants to be at the center of every marriage, so He made the relationship so difficult that we have to keep Him there to make it work. That's just like God, isn't it? He makes sure that He is the answer to all of life's problems. No two people can make marriage work by themselves. Without God's presence and power in your marriage, these are the things that will likely happen - you can stay together and limp along without God. Lots of couples—Christians and non-Christians—do that. It might be a decent marriage, a stable marriage. Nobody's going to leave. You're staying together—not because you're passionately in love, but out of obligation—because it's the right thing to do or because you have children and you don't want to break up the family. 

Of course, staying together is the right thing to do. But it is not the right thing to stay together like that. If you do, you're settling for far less what God wants for your marriage and that is not what he has in mind for you. God wants marriage to be a glorious, passionate, deeply, intimate, sacred and magnificent love relationship. He wants us to connect in communication, to be best of friends, to meet each other's need, to have fun and to glorify Him in our love. 

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 is the most beautiful and moving descriptions of love ever written. You better sit down and read the passage because it might knock you off your feet. God wants you to experience it in your relationship and He will give it to you if you will give him the chance to demonstrate it through you.
                 6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
                         like a seal on your arm.
                         For love is as strong as death,
                         its jealousy* as enduring as the grave.*
                         Love flashes like fire,
                         the brightest kind of flame.
               7 Many waters cannot quench love,
                         nor can rivers drown it.
                         If a man tried to buy love
                         with all his wealth,
                         his offer would be utterly scorned.

COUPLE BECOMING "ONE FRESH"

In genesis 2:24, God says: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh". 

One flesh is a complete coming together of a man and a woman in three areas: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is spiritual intimacy that drives the "one flesh" relationship in a marriage. Spiritual intimacy is how you tap into the word of God and put it to work in your marriage. To love each other with God's love, you must be connected to Him as a couple. You must join spiritually. The secret to breathing new life into a dead love is becoming one flesh, spiritually. Spiritual bonding is consistently placing God at the very center of your relationship and growing ever closer to Him as a couple. When couple spiritually bond, it is no longer the two of them that is doing the loving. it is God Himself doing the loving. When you are unable to love your partner anymore, and your marriage is falling apart, God steps in to do the loving. He will love your partner through you. If you have a non-Christian spouse, then your challenge is to follow I Peter 3:1-4 and model a vibrant, healthy Christian life. The closer you are to God, the more deeply and unconditionally you can love your partner. God's love, working through you, will make all the difference in your mate and in your marriage.  

Human love must always runs out 0f gas (die) - The first thing couple must understand when they get married is that the initial tankful of physical passion and emotional intimacy that fuels their marriage can only take you few years down the road. That's it. Every married couple's love dies. Every single one! Just like a car running out of gas, your tank will unexpectedly go dry, and you'll coast to a stop. There are millions of stalled marriages on the highway of life. Human love, powered by human strength, was never designed by God to carry marriages forty to fifty years. Only God can give you an intimate passionate and permanent love.

True love in a marriage is all about trust (having confidence and total reliance on the good virtues and ability of your partner), openness (being frank and honest to each other), transparency without secrecy (being transparent without keeping a secret from each other) and all that God represents ( inner joy, peace, love, faithfulness, goodness, patience). The understanding and determination to apply the above features daily is the beginning of wisdom to excel in your marriage against all odds.

Together couples stand in one single purpose which is to honour and glorify God but divided in this purpose they fall. May God instill in the heart of all the married a soul that is craving for Him and a heart that cling passionately to Him so that their marriages will bring glory, honour and joy to His name in Jesus name, Amen!.

GODLY PRINCIPLES FOR FINDING A LIFE PARTNER

Marriage is one of the most important choices you will ever have to make in your life. The choice you make will determine if you will have a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage. It will undoubtedly affect the lives, hopes, dreams and careers of your children if you were to have any.

A young girl came and asked me, “Sister, I have already fallen in love with a young boy, now how can I find God's will?” My immediate answer was, “You have fallen? Get up! Why did you fall?” In Christian marriage there is no such thing as “falling in love.” It has only the concept of “entering into a love relationship” in marriage to a man or a woman chosen by God. The Bible only says, “Husbands love your wives…” (Ephesians. 5:25), and not “Boys love your girlfriends” or vice versa.

Being single is an important time to prepare you for marriage. It can also be a time to experience a closer communion with God. As you seek God to cleanse you of the world and help you become the kind of wife or husband that would bless someone, you will soon find that you are not lonely. First, the Lord would begin using you to bless others; then you will find you are content in Him. Eventually, in God's plan and timing, He will bless you with a wonderful mate so that both lives can be a witness for Him.  Marriage is the second major choice you make in our lives, and you should never enter into it without much prayer. To rush into a marriage can be disastrous. The most important decision of your life, of course, is your decision to follow the Lord. This decision is not a one-time declaration, but a daily determination to follow Jesus above all. If you allow the emotional or souls realm to dominate your life you become more susceptible to the enemy leading you astray through someone. This area of the flesh should be brought under the Lord's subjection so that Satan does not get the advantage and consequently destroy your life and calling. Many have failed the Lord because they chose a man or woman over the Lord. THE WORSE LONELINESS ONE CAN EXPERIENCE IS NOT SINGLE BUT MARRIES SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT THE LORD.

Many singles make the mistake of putting their lives on hold until they marry and "get a real life." God can work through all believers who walk in obedience to him. Christians need to remember that marriage does not make a person whole, only accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour brings wholeness. Sadly though, many Christian singles feel pressured, even from other Christians, to seek a mate rather than to seek the will of God for their lives. We must dedicate our lives to serving the Lord and walking in obedience to Him - regardless of our marital state. Singles need to stop believing the "I am missing something" lie and accept the call to obey and serve God with their whole heart, mind, and strength. Marriage may or may not be a part of God's plan for you so it is time to live the life you have now and trust God for the rest.

When a man is looking for a woman to marry, he must seek those character and strengths in her that will help him make wise decision and not just physical attraction that will make him feel good before the world. Not everyone who looks good is pleasant to live with. Physical attractiveness without discretion will do more harm than good. Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain but husband and wife that fear the Lord shall be praised and is under the umbrella of God's protection and provision.

Marriage is not just marrying any woman or man, but the right kind of woman or man. Proverbs19:14 say, "A prudent wife is from the Lord." That is, if you want a wife that is from the Lord-the Lord’s will, find a prudent one-one with discernment and self-control. This would apply to the husband as well. This is just one attribute of a wife or husband that will be a blessing from the Lord.

How can you involve God in helping you find someone special? Follow in the footsteps of Abraham’s servant in his search for a wife for Isaac. He looked for someone who was spiritual and with a servant heart. Then he prays about it and asked God to bring him success in finding the right partner.

In finding someone to marry, the following must be taken into cognizance;

1.   Gen 24:17-22 says “Running over to her the servant said please give me a little drink of water from your jug. 18 Yes, my lord, she answered, “have a drink “and she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink.                                                                                                                                    19 When she had given a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels, too until they have had enough to drink. 20 so she quickly emptied her jug into the watering trough and ran back to the well to draw water for all his camels. 21 The servant watched her in silence wondering whether or not the lord had given him success in his mission. 22 Then at last when the camel had finished drinking, he took a golden ring for her nose and two large gold bracelets for her wrist.” (NLT)

Rebecca’s servant spirit was clearly demonstrated as she willingly and quickly drew water for Eliezer and his camels. The pots used for carrying water were large and heavy. It took a lot of water to satisfy a thirsty camel; up to 25 gallons per camel, after weeks of travel. Seeing Rebecca go to work, Eliezer knew this was a woman with a heart for doing far more than the bare minimum.

Finding someone who is honest, helpful and caring is quite hard to find these days but there are a lot of good people out there.

2.    

 L    Look for a Christian husband or wife that suits your temperament and personality. If you are a Christian do not marry a man or woman who is not a Christian.

Genesis 24:3-4 says “swear by the Lord the God of heaven and earth that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. (4) Go instead to my home land to my relatives and find a wife there for my son Isaac.” (NLT)

Abraham wanted Isaac to marry within the family that is Christian community to avoid inter marriage with pagan neighbours. The Bible says can two walk together except they agree?

In the New Testament 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says: don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?  (15) What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? (NLT)

For those who have discovered God’s light, there can be no fellowship or compromise with darkness. As followers of Christ we must give him our total allegiance.

We cannot have a part in the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons at the same time. You cannot follow Christ and the crowd (1 Corinthians 10:20-21). This may cause you big problem down the line. Trust God that He will show you who a good match would be. Likes are not always the perfect match; remember to keep an open mind. 

Genesis 24:7 says “for the Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and my native land. Solemnly promised to give this land t o my descendants. He will send his angle ahead of you, and he see to it that you find a wife there for my son”. (NLT)

When you put your trust in God He will always direct your path aright. God promised to lead us if we follow Him. Psalm 37:47.  Want to know where to find the right kind of partner? The Bible says you should be like a fisherman!!! When a fisherman wants to catch fish, he goes where the fishes are, the river, lake or sea. If you want to find a Christian partner, go to church, local singles events where Christians meet regularly. Don’t expect to meet people if you are in the house and your door is shut.  In Proverbs 18:22 says, “He that finds a wife, findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” God did not say that there is one particular woman for a man but whoever finds the right kind of person (husband/wife) finds a good thing. The kind of a person that shares the same views likes and interests with you.

Pray that God will guide you and follow the above guidelines and you can be sure God will lead you to a suitable person. If you both love and respect each other, you will know that God has guided you. It’s not always plain sailing to get to that place though so be patient.

WRONG AND RIGHT REASONS TO GET MARRIED

Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Want to be free from parents.
To have sex.
To ease loneliness.
To be happy.
To show you are an adult.
Because of a pregnancy.
He or she loves you.
To save or help someone.
Because you want a baby.
For money.
For Fame.
Long relationship
Because all your friends are married.
You've always wanted a fancy wedding.
Out of fear that no one else will want to marry you.
You think you are running out of time to get married.
For immigration purposes.
You are tired of being single.
You don't want people gossiping about the two of you living together

Getting married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person can be devastating. 

This may result in both living the rest of their life in misery. 

Their marriage may end in separation or divorce. Worse still, they may never 

separate but simply live a miserable and unfaithful existence with each other. 

This situation is simply “hell” on earth.

Right Reasons to Get Married

You are in love with one another.
A desire to share your life with another.
To have a lifetime companion.
Realistic expectations.
Willingness to help one another fulfill their own needs and dreams.

A marriage without Christ can never experience the spiritual bonding 
God brings to relationships. It is good to be married. God created marriage
 for our enjoyment and He pronounced it good. 
Therefore, those of you who are contemplating to marry should not make 
the mistake of leaving God out of your life in choosing your life partner.
 If you do, all your accomplishment and goal will be futile. 
Make God your highest priority and let Him guide you to make 
the right choice and also partner with you in building a
 long lasting and successful marriage.

No Vision! No True Marriage!

Most of the church teachings in marriage have been found to be inadequate, non-Biblical, often male chauvinistic and demeaning to women.

 Have you ever wondered, why, when a man/woman contemplating marriage are in a relationship they profess so much love and care for each other. Then after tying the knot, at a point into the marriage the love turns sour and he/she finds out that he/she can’t stand the woman/man anymore. In most cases, they resort to infidelity, hatred, lying and cheating to each other as a result of a denial of the God’s divine will for them and the elevation of their will over the will of God. Sins involving extramarital sex are powerful destroyers of relationships. They confuse and tear down the climate of respect, trust and credibility that is so essential for solid marriages and secure children.

For a man and woman to have a satisfying and fulfilling marriage relationship, the man must understand the nature of a woman and what makes her unique. Also a woman must understand the nature of a man and what makes him tick. Once there is an understanding of this wonderful phenomenon, you are on a fruitful journey to a successful marriage.

The Bible said in Gen.2vs8 “Then the Lord God, planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there He placed the man He had created” (NLT), and in the same chapter verse 22 says “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam”. From this passage, the first thing the man set his eyes after creation was a garden and he was instructed to tend and dress it which depict his assignment or vision. And too, the first thing the woman set her eyes on after creation was Adam which depicts relationship. With this we deduce that the man is work oriented while the woman is relationship oriented. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the man to discover his God-given purpose before venturing into marriage. Prov. 29vs18a says “Where there is no vision, the people perish”. Your fulfillment, satisfaction and peace of mind are all tied to your vision. When a woman marries a man, it is her duty to identify with the vision of her spouse, stay close to him and give him all the moral support, care and assistant he needs to actualize his vision. For the single reason why you are married to him is to help him fulfill his dream. Also, married men should understand that women love romance and therefore should learn to say love words to their wives. The price you pay for a thing determines the value you place on it.

A Christian marriage can be beautiful if we acquire the necessary information about it from the right source which is the Bible before we go into it. Husbands and wives are to emulate Christ and His church in how they treat each other. Also, singles who are contemplating marriage should understand the foundation of marriage before making a choice of life partner in other to have a healthy and godly marriage.  Love does not require that two people must look at each other but that they look together in the same direction.

Remember that man and woman need Christ in order to appropriate what He wants them to do. One may ask: why must I need Christ to have a successful and long lasting marriage relationship? The Bible said in Psalm 51vs5 that we were born sinners from the moment our mother conceived us, which means we have a sinful nature that will always make us do the wrong thing. In our flesh dwells no good thing, for when you want to do well you can’t and when you try not to do wrong you find yourself doing it. It seems to be a fact of life that when you want to do what is right, you inevitably do what is wrong (Rom: 7vs15-25). Jesus Christ conquered sin once and for all and promises to fight by our side so that sin will lose its power in our lives (Col: 2 vs. 13-15). Without Christ’s help, sin is stronger than we are and we are unable to defend ourselves against its attacks. God is Spirit and marriage came from Him. Because marriage came from Him that makes it spiritual and not physical. 

Therefore, any man/woman that is not born again and makes no effort to pursue a personal relationship with God, lack the capacity to function in marriage. Most times the reason for break-up in marriages is as a result of misplaced priorities. When your personal desire surpasses God’s desire for you, it means you are devoting more time pursuing something else other than God and what it takes to sustain your marriage. Some people’s greatest desire in life is popularity, power and money and that become their idol and they end up building their lives around them. When you are married to this kind of person be sure to have a miserable marriage relationship. When you put anything other than God at the center of your life, you will not reach your potential and become all that God wants you to be. How do I then put God first in my marriage? 1. Recognize what is taking His place in your life. 2. Renounce this substitute god as unworthy of your devotion. 3. Ask God for forgiveness. 4. Restructure your priorities so that love for God is the motive for everything you do. 5. Examine yourself daily to be sure you are giving God first place. We must break from traditional stereotype way of marriage and hold on to the truth of God’s word. An opinion is something that you hold but a conviction is something that holds you.