Most of the church teachings in marriage
have been found to be inadequate, non-Biblical, often male chauvinistic and
demeaning to women.
Have
you ever wondered, why, when a man/woman contemplating marriage are in a
relationship they profess so much love and care for each other. Then after
tying the knot, at a point into the marriage the love turns sour and he/she
finds out that he/she can’t stand the woman/man anymore. In most cases, they
resort to infidelity, hatred, lying and cheating to each other as a result of a
denial of the God’s divine will for them and the elevation of their will over
the will of God. Sins involving extramarital sex are powerful destroyers of
relationships. They confuse and tear down the climate of respect, trust and
credibility that is so essential for solid marriages and secure children.
For a man and woman to have a satisfying
and fulfilling marriage relationship, the man must understand the nature of a
woman and what makes her unique. Also a woman must understand the nature of a
man and what makes him tick. Once there is an understanding of this wonderful
phenomenon, you are on a fruitful journey to a successful marriage.
The Bible
said in Gen.2vs8 “Then the Lord God, planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and
there He placed the man He had created” (NLT),
and in the same chapter verse 22 says “Then the
Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam”. From this
passage, the first thing the man set his eyes after creation was a garden and
he was instructed to tend and dress it which depict his assignment or vision.
And too, the first thing the woman set her eyes on after creation was Adam
which depicts relationship. With this we deduce that the man is work oriented
while the woman is relationship oriented. Therefore, it is the responsibility
of the man to discover his God-given purpose before venturing into marriage.
Prov. 29vs18a says “Where there is no vision, the people perish”. Your
fulfillment, satisfaction and peace of mind are all tied to your vision. When a
woman marries a man, it is her duty to identify with the vision of her spouse,
stay close to him and give him all the moral support, care and assistant he
needs to actualize his vision. For the single reason why you are married to him
is to help him fulfill his dream. Also, married men should understand that women
love romance and therefore should learn to say love words to their wives. The
price you pay for a thing determines the value you place on it.
A Christian marriage can be beautiful if we
acquire the necessary information about it from the right source which is the Bible
before we go into it. Husbands and wives are to emulate Christ and His church
in how they treat each other. Also, singles who are
contemplating marriage should understand the foundation of marriage before making
a choice of life partner in other to have a healthy and godly marriage. Love does not require that two people must
look at each other but that they look together in the same direction.
Remember that man and woman need Christ in
order to appropriate what He wants them to do. One may ask: why must I need
Christ to have a successful and long lasting marriage relationship? The Bible
said in Psalm 51vs5 that we were born sinners from the moment our mother
conceived us, which means we have a sinful nature that will always make us do
the wrong thing. In our flesh dwells no good thing, for when you want to do well
you can’t and when you try not to do wrong you find yourself doing it. It seems
to be a fact of life that when you want to do what is right, you inevitably do
what is wrong (Rom: 7vs15-25). Jesus Christ conquered sin once and for all and
promises to fight by our side so that sin will lose its power in our lives
(Col: 2 vs. 13-15). Without Christ’s help, sin is stronger than we are and we
are unable to defend ourselves against its attacks. God is Spirit and marriage
came from Him. Because marriage came from Him that makes it spiritual and not
physical.
Therefore, any man/woman that is not born again and makes no effort
to pursue a personal relationship with God, lack the capacity to function in
marriage. Most times the reason for break-up in marriages is as a result of
misplaced priorities. When your personal desire surpasses God’s desire for you,
it means you are devoting more time pursuing something else other than God and
what it takes to sustain your marriage. Some people’s greatest desire in life
is popularity, power and money and that become their idol and they end up
building their lives around them. When you are married to this kind of person
be sure to have a miserable marriage relationship. When you put anything other
than God at the center of your life, you will not reach your potential and
become all that God wants you to be. How do I then put God first in my marriage?
1. Recognize what is taking His place in your life. 2. Renounce this substitute
god as unworthy of your devotion. 3. Ask God for forgiveness. 4. Restructure
your priorities so that love for God is the motive for everything you do. 5.
Examine yourself daily to be sure you are giving God first place. We must break
from traditional stereotype way of marriage and hold on to the truth of God’s
word. An opinion is something that you hold but a conviction is something that
holds you.
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