Adam and Eve were very happy living in the Garden of Eden. When Eve listened to Satan instead of God, she caused great unhappiness for herself and her husband. All sinful behavior is caused by rebellion against God when people are deceived by the devil. No marriage fails except where one or both partners are involved in SIN. When sin is allowed to get out of control in a marriage, the marriage will fail to provide the happiness and companionship that God intended. Let us consider some of the more destructive sins that can cause great unhappiness in marriage.
1. LAZINESS is one of the most destructive of all sins. Too many people forget that laziness is a sin. Laziness is a major cause of evil. James 4:17 “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin”. Laziness is why there are so many husbands who do not love their wives and why there are so many wives who do not love their husbands. Marriage fails to bring great happiness when they do not work hard enough to create love and build marital relationships.
2. PRIDE is another serious sin that can damage a marriage relationship. Pride is usually the sin that causes all other sins. Pride is thinking that you are better than someone else. It is wrong if you think that you are better than your spouse. Do not think that you are more important to God than your spouse. Jesus shed His blood to forgive your partner’s sins just as He shed it to forgive your sins.
3, SELFISHNESS is another sin that causes much unhappiness in marriage. If you wish to be miserable, think only about yourself. Think about what you want, what you like, what respect people ought to pay you — and then you will be a very unhappy person and cause your spouse to be unhappy as well. Selfishness causes a husband to lie to his spouse. It causes a wife to be concerned only for her own pleasure. It causes a husband to destroy his marriage by committing adultery. Such sin against God and against one’s spouse usually causes lasting damage to a marriage. In some families the husband or wife will turn to drunkenness because of selfishness. Drinking alcohol causes them to forget their responsibilities to their families. Drunkenness causes violence within a family. Drunkenness is the cause of the destruction of many marriages. Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
4. ANGER is another sin that can harm a marriage. One episode of anger can damage a relationship of kindness and patience that took years to build. We are too quick to find excuses for our anger.The Bible clearly condemns sinful anger. It is sinful when it is in excess. It is sinful when it is expressed in ways that are harmful. Psalms 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret — it only causes harm. God provides us with a guidebook, the Bible, to follow to help us live more successfully with our spouses. When the husband and wife are both determined to follow the laws of God, it is almost certain that they will find greater and greater joy with each other as they grow older together.
Couples who want to live happy lives together are committed to telling the truth to each other. A stable relationship can be built only by being honest. In happy marriages the couple gets to know one another by talking and LISTENING. Happily married people express appreciation for and give praise to one another. Happy people learn to live with one another with respect and kindness. Happy husbands and wives trust each other deeply. Couples who are happy enjoy spending time together. In happy marriages the husband and wife share responsibilities. A husband who wants a happy wife will not even consider committing adultery. Same goes to the wife.
What can you do for your marriage? How can you increase your marital satisfaction and improve your relationship? The crucial thing is that you have to let go of expecting your spouse to change and work on yourself. Developing a better marriage begins with becoming a better spouse yourself! You can’t change someone else. You can only change yourself. And trying to change your spouse will create tension in your relationship and actually discourage him or her from changing!
Stella Duru
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