THE POWER OF *I AM SORRY.*

 

*I am sorry* is a short and mighty sentence.

If you wish to live long, don't joke with this short sentence, *I am sorry*. Do you know how many people who had gone to their early grave because they neglected the therapeutic power of *I am sorry*.

Most of the troubles in most homes are heightened because wives are too big to say *I am sorry* to their husbands and you can trust the ego of husbands in saying same to their wives. Quarrel lingers between friends because no party wants to say *I am sorry*. Each says or asks, why should I be the first to say *I am sorry?* He or she would beat his or her chest and utter the ego phrase, *a whole me!*

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the part of the world where saying *I am sorry* is a hard nut to crack while curses are easily unleashed. Welcome to the part of the world where people refer to a person who says *I am sorry* in a midst of a rift as a *weaker sex*: one who is not man enough; one who is foolish. And that's the thing. Saying *I am sorry* actually shows strength, not weakness. A person who can apologize and truly mean it is self-aware. 

Welcome to Africa where saying *I am sorry* is tougher than forcing a donkey to pass through a needle hole. All of us are victims of this discussion. We have lost valuable assets, money and even lives because of this cheap and affordable sentence *I am sorry*. It simply cost only a breath of speech.

Have you ever wondered why domestic violence is less pronounced in the western world? It is simply because they understand the efficacy of *I am sorry*. Husbands say it to their wives and even children whenever they err, wives and children do the same and life goes on fine.

Friends, this is simply a piece to encourage us to cultivate a habit of saying *I am sorry.* It is difficult but readily affordable. When you say that you are sorry, it restores the dignity of the hurt person and makes them feel better. An apology may restore trust and understanding to a relationship, because it contributes to a feeling of safety and makes both the receiver and the giver feel comfortable and respected.

How to say *I am sorry* and really mean it?

1. Consider the Motive Behind Your Apology and yourself what's motivating the apology. Ask yourself what’s motivating the apology. Is it coming from a sincere place of remorse and a desire to improve? Or do you just want to smooth things over?
2. Go Ahead and Confess, But No Excuses — You Did This. The act of confessing sounds simple enough, but your language and phrasing are critical. You need to tell the victim what she or he did without excuses or blame. And not I did this because you did that, that's not an apology. 
3. Be Contrite and Make A Plan To Change. If you don’t have a plan to prevent your harmful behavior from recurring, then you risk making an “empty apology,” which is called an apology that isn't followed up with a change in behavior, attitude.
4. Get Ready to Change Because This is Just The Beginning. The offending party must commit to putting in the work at changing. This won’t happen overnight.

WHY MEN ARE CALLED "GROOM”, AND THE WOMAN “THE BRIDE” ON WEDDING DAY.

 

Why is the newly wedded man called groom and the woman called bride? A friend of mine got tired of his wife just about six months after wedding. He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he has concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he made a mistake. I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him that right thing, so I went home. And that is what birth this message.

Many men have broken up with their wives because they end up not being the wife that they have dreamt of. But they have forgotten that on their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task. Nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but bride, because it is the man that will groom his bride to become the wife. That is why the man is called ‘bridegroom or groom’ and the word grooming has to do with patiently nurturing, teaching, tending and helping someone to become what he or she should be.

It is therefore believed that a man that takes a woman to the altar of marriage is matured enough to patiently groom his bride to become the wife. The man is not supposed to just expect the bride to automatically become the wife, she must be groomed.

It is clear that many of us men have unnecessary expectations when we were getting married, we want some magic to happen to our wives, we want them to become what we have had in mind about who we want our wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is on your mind except you teach her. Our expectations are often too unrealistic, because we don’t remember that change takes time and we can only expect something from someone that knows what we want.

So before you think of breaking up, have you groomed her? Have you given her time to understand you? Hope you realize that a turtle will never become a hawk? God often brings people that are opposites of each other together in marriage so that they can help each other in their place of weaknesses. If your wife is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed? The problem with many of us is that we don’t accept people before attempting to change them.

Of course, our wives are not from our backgrounds, so it will take time for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her, accept her, love her, teach her and be patient with her; that is what grooming is all about. She is going to be your wife but she is your bride now, so groom her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a turtle and you a hawk, she cannot fly so be patient with her. I don’t believe that your marriage can’t work, be patient and allow God to help you.

WISHING YOU THE BEST MARITAL LIFE EVER !

Marriage Covenant

Marriage is a covenant of a lifetime. It is the foundation of a family, and a family is a small church of Christ. It is the family that is the meaning and purpose of marriage.

Marriage between a man and woman is the specific design and plan of God.
God created the man and all the animals. Adam names them and realizes that there is none among them that will fill his longing for relationship and love. So, the Lord creates Eve out of the body of Adam. Then the Lord tells this husband and wife to hold the image of him together and be His representatives to "fill the earth and subdue it, and to rule over it." They are given a job to do and will work together as a team to fulfill it. All is good, and then comes sin. Sin has been the problem of marriages ever since. Genesis 3 tell us that sin brought fear to relationships, blaming, lying, blame-shifting, a distorted view of God and that's not all. Women would now have pain in childbirth and an unholy longing for their husband. The husband would now rule over his wife as a despot. We see this scenario played out throughout the ages and across societal lines.

Genesis 3: 16

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shall bring forth children; and THY DESIRE SHALL BE TO THY HUSBAND, AND HE SHALL RULE OVER THEE”

And then came Christ.

Christ is bringing reconciliation to all things and that includes Christian marriages. With Christ as the center of marriage, both partners can submit to one another and help each other. They can get back to the business of representing the Lord on earth and working as a team, learn to love one another as the Lord would and to build communication and conflict skills to deal with the issues that arise from living in a fallen world and having a sin nature still intact.

2 Corinthians 5: 15

“And that He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again”

Ephesians 5: 21

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”

Epesians4: 29

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers”

For anyone to have a successful marriage the person must first grow in the knowledge of God, His Son and the Holy Spirit and all of His ways before entering into marriage relationship. And the only way to grow in God’s knowledge is to first be saved by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and be filled with the Holy Spirit. And secondly, by reading and studying the Bible because in it, God has put all of the spiritual knowledge that we will ever need about Him.

John 15: 5

“I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing”

2 Timothy 2: 15

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth”

Colossians 3: 16

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs; singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord”

1 Samuel 2 : 9b

“…………………..; for by strength shall no man prevail”

Many people believe that to survive in the world a person must be tough, strong, unbending and harsh. But God said it is not by our strength or by force but His Spirit. It is only through God’s Spirit that anything of lasting values can be accomplished.

As you live for God, determine not to trust in your own strength or abilities. Instead, depend on God and work in the power of His spirit.

HOW DOES A HUSBAND AND WIFE GROW IN THE IMAGE OF CHRIST

HOW DOES A HUSBAND AND WIFE GROW IN CHRIST’S IMAGE

Men and women are different species and unique in their expressions of love.  Men talk for information and women talk for affection. Men say what they mean and women say what they feel. Men are logical and women are intuitive. Men have a lot of physical energy and women have more of emotional energy. A woman marries looking for fulfilment in her relationship with her husband. Her husband on the other hand marries looking for fulfilment outside the marriage in his job or in a hobby. In a normal marriage, we find a wife trying to get her needs met in her husband and the husband wanting his wife to be with him while he gets his needs met outside the home. Wives want relationship. Husbands want companionship. God wants to be at the center of every marriage, so He made the relationship so difficult that we have to keep Him there to make it work. That's just like God, isn't it? He makes sure that He is the answer to all of life's problems. No two people can make marriage work by themselves. God knowing this, puts these two together with the intent that overcoming their differences will help make them conform in the image of His SON Jesus Christ. He wants neither one to try to get their ‘needs’ met in the other. He put them in the relationship to learn to be givers and not takers. God knows that that is our greatest need. That is why He commanded husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husband in Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

One problem in understanding the truth of this is that the wife’s needs do sound nobler than her husband’s, since she puts so much emphasis on the relationship. Yet God has not called us to commit to a relationship (or even to get anything out of it). He called us to commit to a person. There is a big difference between a loving a person and loving a relationship.

A genuine loving commitment to a person requires selflessness – your goal being to give and get nothing back.

1 Corinthians 13:5

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 

Loving a relationship on the other hand feeds on selfishness because it is committing yourself to something you will benefit from. When a relationship is more valued than the person, impatience, anger, and frustration will flourish in the relationship. Giving to get is never consistently satisfying.

If we are ever to find joy in our marriages, we must never lose sight of God’s goal for us –complete selflessness. For only in that kind of submission to God will you find joy. Only when we are truly submitting to God and honoring our mate the way He has commanded will we find satisfaction and fulfilment.

Furthermore, through trials and challenges we are shaped into the image of Christ. Since God’s primary purpose is for us to be conformed into the image of Christ, He uses difficulties and challenges to refine our character and strengthen our faith. Growth, both natural and spiritual comes by only through challenges.

Hebrews 5: 8

Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

Warning to all girls......!!!!WHY MEN ASK YOU FOR SEX.

I want to change some ladies mindset today. You see, men are not dogs. Not all of them are mad. Not all the men on the street wants to get into your pants. I'm going to be real and down to earth with this write up.

The way some ladies complain men are always asking them for sex really baffles me. Why sex, why not marriage proposal? Why do men always want to sleep with you? Why is it that every single guy who asks you out is always hitting you for sex? Why won't they marry you unless they have a taste of the forbidden fruit? This is a big problem, It is not something to be proud of, if all that men see about you is your body and nothing more. It then cause for alarm!!!!!

(1). CHECK YOUR DRESSING:

A female's body means nothing to her. You are used to seeing your breasts and every soft body part all your life. It doesn't mean a thing to you but to guys it means the universe! Men are moved by sight. Wearing armless (exposing your shaved armpit and upper arm) can turn a man on talkless of the low neckline exposing the cleavage of your breasts, you wear trousers, tights skirt, (panty hose) which shows the shape of your buttock, mini and micro mini skirts exposing your thigh all can make a man go wild. Better face reality now and mind the way you dress. Don't forget that it is only God that sees your heart but men sees the body o

(2). LEARN HOW TO SIT:

Some ladies don't know how to sit. Especially the skirt wearing sisters. You sit in front of a guy and open your laps and be snapping us anyhow so what do you want him to see? A trance or maybe revelation?? Always close your thigh when you are sitting whether in front of a guy or not. Not sitting very well can become a habit and follow you around. And you wonder why all the brothers in the church wants to sleep with you.

(3). YOU TOUCH MEN A LOT:

Ladies who touch, hug and wrap themselves around guys are sexual magnets to sexually immature guys. Why are you always hugging and pecking, for what? Can't you talk without touching, holding and hugging someone? Some even sit on their "friend's" lap and say it doesn't matter. He is just a brother in Christ. He would soon be a lover in bed. Learn to control your emotions around the opposite sex. If you must hug, go look for your fellow lady to hug and peck and you still need to be careful. Lesbians are all over the place.

(4). CALLING MEN PET NAMES:

Some people just throw around the word "dear" as if it is a second language, Why would you give all the guys in your life pet names? You say, "thanks dear," "okay sweetie", "see you dearie", "bye love", yes sugar, Hello honeypie, etc., you are looking for serious trouble. Words like this turns a man on. Even if you must call, set a limit.

(5). YOU PRAISE MEN TOO MUCH:

This shouldn't be a problem at all but experience has taught me that men are attracted and eventually turned on by women who praise them. You can compliment men if you want to but be discreet and casual about it. Don't over do anything. Telling a guy, "whao! what a nice moustache you've got!" or that "muscle on your arm can make any lady go crazy for you" is indirectly telling him you like his body and wouldn't mind if he sleeps with you.

(6). YOU SEDUCE MEN:

Here, you deliberately wear provocative dresses with the intention to turn him on. You want to see whether you are sexually admirable to him and want to see how far he can respond to your seduction. You don't need that test at all. Men are turned on by women whether you seduce him or not. A woman's body is built to turn a man on. I really get worried when I see these pictures. You can't have my comments when you post such. Just showing your dirty buttock and breast anyhow on the social media. What a foolishness.

(7). YOU POST SEDUCTIVE PICTURES ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA:

When I see the way some ladies pose on Facebook, I wonder what they are really looking for. Do you want him to kiss you? Why turn your buttock to the camera? Do you want him to see how big it is? Why focus on your chest? Do you want him to know you have form breasts? Or maybe you've got nipples like needle?? What is the purpose of the purpose of the pictures you are posting? You post exposing your body and still have the guts to write oluwa is involve. Sorry you are only making yourself a harlot and that's what you are. Responsible women don't do that trash.

(. YOU ALWAYS MEET YOUR PARTNER IN DARK AND LONELY PLACES.

Lobatan! Sex has finished its mission. Sex loves dark and lonely places. Wait, why are you always avoiding the public? You want to talk? Can't you still be around people and stay out of ear shot? What are you talking about that we must not hear? Send a text message or write a letter. You don't need to hide in darkness to express your heart...

(9). YOU SLEEP AT YOUR FIANCE'S HOUSE:

Why are you in a hurry to sleep under the same roof with a man? Why are you in a hurry? What is your problem? Some ladies can't wait for a man to propose. They pack their bags and move to his house immediately. For what? And when that one gets tired of the sex, he sends them packing and we are here listening to all their tales of woe! Some don't even expect their man to ask for sex. Aaah? Show me a monkey who doesn't jump at every sight of banana.

(10). YOU EXPECT MEN TO ASK FOR SEX:

Some ladies think because they are exceptionally beautiful, men will always ask for sex so it's not really their fault that they sleep around. That is a big lie from the pit of hell!

You need to work on your mind. Thinking all men will die for you because you have a hot body is crap. Not all men lose their senses when they see a woman with seductive body. All irresponsible, immature, abusers and users do get attracted to her anyway. Mature, godly men don't get their brain twisted on sporting that type of woman.
Watch what you wear, how you sit, where you go and the way you behave around men.

A virtuous woman dresses well to cover her body and comports herself maturely around men. You will be addressed the way you dress. If they are always asking you for sex....,Check what is wrong and fix it...#God&Marriage!