FACTS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE

                                   

·        * Marriage was created by God; therefore instruction for godly marriage must come from Him. Who created marriage? Who has the power to instruct you to marry? Since God is the one that created it, He is the one who created your partner. Therefore, He is the only one who can guide you aright.

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         *Decision on marriage must not come from the flesh. The flesh is a deceiver. It is an enemy in your camp. The Bible says the flesh profit nothing, it is the spirit that quickens. The man or woman your flesh may want you to marry may be the wrong one for you.

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             *  Marriage is not for boys and girls. You are a mad person when in secondary school, you are talking about marriage. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.

·         Before thinking about marriage you must be physically matured, mentally matured and spiritually matured.  You can be physically matured at the age of 18 for women and 21 for men, but physical maturity is not all there is to get married. You may be physically matured but might be spiritually and materially immature. You must make sure you have something doing to feed yourself with before you bring a second mouth. There is no way a hungry man can feed a hungry woman. Being spiritually matured, you must know how to pray and hear God speak. Nobody is praying for problems but if by chance you run into problems in your marriage, you can go back to God and tell Him, You asked me to marry this person so you have to solve this problem, but if he didn’t tell you to go there and there is problems and you call on Him to help you, He will say did I send you there. So this is why it is important you hear from God before you marry the person. If you do not have a clear method of hearing from God first, you have to go and sort that one out, receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit and learn how to hear from God. Once you begin to hear from Him your progress begins. Don’t say I have peace in my heart that he or she is the one. There is something called evil peace- meaning you have peace on the wrong thing.

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            *  It is an abomination for a believer to be a friend or marry an unbeliever. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, Be ye unequal yoke with an unbeliever……..” There is no connection between light and darkness. Don’t marry an unbeliever and say I will convert him or her. Any man demanding sex before marriage is an unbeliever. He is not born again, whether he is speaking in tongues it does not matter. It is a sure sign that the person is not born again. When you come across any man who wants to marry you, it is easy to know who is very worldly. If you see a man who wants to marry you and you go to his house and you don’t hear “Let us share the word, what did they preach today in your fellowship, you don’t hear what did you do in your quiet time”, all  he wants to do is to rob his hands all over you, kiss every part of your body, that is the ceremony every time you go there, you get there with your cloth well ironed and leave his place with a ruffled cloth, then you are just planning to marry a child of the devil. And you don’t fall to his tricks or pressure that "anytime you come here, we just talk and talk, how am I sure you are impotent". That is the language of the devil.

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            *  Destiny must come before partner. Fisrt of all discover your destiny before before you begin to pray about a wife or husband. Your destiny is your mission here on earth, if not you will marry a partner who will be a deficit to your destiny. You could marry a destiny killer. Your destiny is the purpose for which God created you.

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      *Marriage is a life time contract, therefore, do not rush into it. Many have rushed in and rushed out like fire. You must prepare because what you do not prepare for cannot give you the best.

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       *The devil battles against establishment of godly marriage. This is why praying about it is very important. That is why many Christians have marital problems today. The enemy does not want a good matches, he prefers wrong matches. I pray even if you come from a family that marriages do not work your own will work in Jesus name.

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           * There are ancestral and demonic roadblocks to marriage.  The enemy will just deceive you that you are good for nothing and no good thing will come your way. You will be meeting the wrong people, unserious people, married men who are polygamous in nature, those who are completely children of devil. They are the ones who will be showing interest in you. Know that there is a roadblock somewhere and pray.

·         *It is dangerous to give your body to a man before you are married to him.  Pre-marital sex before marriage can destroy the foundation of your marriage.

God&marriage

DEALING WITH LYING PARTNER!!!

Dealing with a lying partner can be one of the greatest challenges in a relationship/marriage. Proverbs 6:16-17 says,"There are six things the Lord hate which includes a lying tongue........". Also Proverbs 26: 28 says, "A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin". Trust is a vital foundation in a relationship. When a partner lies, the greatest impact is that trust is eroded. The strength of any relationship or marriage is dependent on the quality of the trust in it.Trust is very fragile. Once broken, it can't be put back together as before. Marriage and relationships must encourage and reward truth telling. The way you handle a lie determines if your partner will stop lying or continue lying. We must learn to correct and confront lies in love. Every lie has a root. Except discovered, there will be more lies. If a partner lies out of fear which most partners do, then you need to address the fear in the relationship. Dealing with a Lying partner, how to approach the situation; So you caught your spouse lying,you are really hurt and upset. What do you do? How do you confront the situation? Do you approach it as a "conversation" or as a "confrontation". You must speak as a team trying to find out a solution. Rather than as though you are opponents in battle. When you do speak to your spouse, do not focus on “the lie” or “the lying, if you do, the conversation might turn bad. So rather than focusing on the lie itself, focus on the specific issues at hand, talk about what YOU thought or how YOU feel. Approaching discussion as “confrontation” usually results in competitive mindset, causing a partner to react defensively. In other words, trying to blame, attack or point out your partner’s misdeeds won’t get you very far or resolve the problem. Make it a conversation where your spouse can hear what you are trying to say without feeling like they are being attacked. Even though your partner is guilty of lying, Confrontation/ accusation only make them more defensive or withdraw. Instead of focusing on the lie, approach the problem in the least judgmental way possible. Make your partner see that the act of lying, hurts you and make you less confident in relationship you both share. Let you partner know you feel betrayed when lied to, rather than throwing accusations at them. This way, you can be sure your partner will listen to you and you can work things out from there. With this approach,you can create a sense of understanding and a willingness to discuss problems without a lot of negativity. This will also let  your spouse feel more comfortable discussing issues in the future.

HEAVENLY/MARITAL RACE

God created marriage in order to shape couples to become like Christ. Until that is your focus and goal in your marriage, the union is outside God's covering and protection. Heavenly race to eternity is personal but marital race on earth involves two people! Marriage is not the ultimate end of race to heaven but it is a means to it. As a single person you are running one race (heavenly race) but as married person, you are running two races (heavenly & marital). In all these races we need the help of the Holy Spirit to succeed. Why running this marital race many neglect their personal race to eternity which is most vital! Be careful, marriage cannot take you to heaven but your personal commitment and relationship with Christ. That is why marriage is an illustration of Christ and the church. When your relationship with Christ is intimate, it definitely will rob off on your marriage. DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF UR PERSONAL RACE IN YOUR MARITAL RACE!!! Your marital race can only take you to heaven if your personal relationship with Christ is fully reflected in it to the glory of God. His grace is sufficient! This is why You are not in your marriage to cheat your partner because each is in it running also a personal race to eternity. Whatever you do in your marriage you will personally give an account to God on that judgement day! Bear this in mind!

No matter the good sermon you hear and read about how to sustain a healthy relationship/marriage and with your own effort, until each spouse come to terms that he or she is in that relationship/marriage first to please God and second he/she is in a race to eternity and not just for the partner, with time the pressure and challenges that comes with marriage will tear them apart because the foundation is not rooted in Christ and the motive fall short of God's expectation. God and His word is the key of life and light to our path. In marriage you don't do what you do for your spouse, but for God who you will account to at the end of this life. And for you to get to this stage, you must make a conscientious effort to die to yourself daily and be alive to your inner spirit. Couples who are in the marriage for each other alone, get frustrated when their partner fall short of their expectation, which in turn make them to look somewhere else to get satisfaction. Couples in this category see each other as their enemy at a slightest provocation. They hardly study the word and pray together. But couples who are in the marriage with the mindset that they are on a journey, running a race to eternity and have their allegiance first to God, will do everything to live for God and fellowship with Him more closely, which in turn rob off on their marriage. No matter the challenges before them they will continue to look up to God in prayers for a radical transformation and betterment of their union and not engage in any extra curriculum and marital affairs elsewhere. Couples in this category are always conscious of their heavenly race. They see the devil as their common enemy and not each other. When there are issues, they use the word of God as a standard in resolving their differences. They set peace as a goal in their marriage and organize their life around it. At that judgement day, you will not tell God that your partner made you engage in extra-curriculum and marital affairs because of their behaviors and attitude, The Lord will say, "depart from me, you unfaithful servant". REMEMBER YOU ARE IN THAT MARRIAGE FIRST FOR GOD AND TO LIVE FOR HIM AND MAKE HEAVEN AT LAST, NOT FOR YOUR SPOUSE ALONE!

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO INVOLVE GOD IN CONNECTING TO YOUR LIFE PARTNER.

1. Everything done outside God is done in vain. Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the Lord builds a house,

the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good". Everything we do without involving God will be done in vain. God should be involved in everything that we do to be able to achieve good result to His own glory.

2.God knows the hidden things. He knows what we don't know. Hebrews 4:13 says, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable".God knows everything and everyone He created. If you don't want to get it wrong, involve God in locating your life partner. There is nothing that a person hides that God can not see. You can hide things to people but not to God.

3.God sees what we don't see.1 Sam 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  As humans we can only see the outward beauty or handsomeness of a person but we can't see the heart. God can see the heart of a person and the heart of a person is more important than outward beauty.

4. God knows people's weaknesses and strengths. Psalm 73:26 says, My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Everyone has got some weaknesses and some strengths.God knows us better. God knows the person who will accept you for who you are. A person who will celebrate your strengths and help you overcome your weaknesses.

5. God knows you more than you know yourself. Psalm 139:1-6 says,  O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand". God created us,He knows us better than we know ourselves therefore He knows what we deserve more than we know ourselves. His wisdom and insight transcend the laws of human nature. He knows the best for you because He knows the beginning and the end of every man.

6. God knows our future. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope". God knows what is ahead of us. Most of the people who look good for you today might not be good for you in future. People have the ability to pretend.They can look good today but not in the future. God is able to locate for you someone who will be good for you today and in your future.

7. God knows your assignment on earth. Proverbs 16:9 says, The heart of man plans his way, but the purpose of God will prevail". God knows each one of us and what we were meant to accomplish in this life. God knows the person who will be able to help you maximize your God given potential.

8. God does not make mistakes. Ecclesiastes 3:14 says, "And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him".  Also James 1:17 says, "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.* He never changes or casts a shifting shadow"
People make mistakes in life but God is perfect. Whatever He does is permanent! He does not make any mistakes. Whatever He says it's good for you will surely be good to you. If you involve God in connecting to your life partner you will never regret.

9.God loves you. Jeremiah 31:3 says, "Long ago the Lord said to Israel: I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself".

God loves us and has reconciled us yo Himself by the power of His Spirit. He has the best in store for everyone who loves Him in sincerity and in truth. Because of the great love God has for us He will never give us what is not good for us. 

HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL ACTIVITIES BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!

1. Always get into a relationship with a God fearing person.


A person who does not fear God will always demand sex.people who do not fear God think that you can not have a relationship without sex.

2. Know that sex is not all that a relationship is all about.

Its very important that you see your relationship in the right way.Never allow the world to lie to you that you can't have a successful relationship without sex.

3. Know that your body is precious and its a temple of the Holy Spirit.


God dwells in you and he loves your body so you need to value it.

4. Avoid doing anything with your boyfriend that arouses your feelings.


Many people kiss,touch each other in their relationships and that has opened up a door for sex before marriage. If you want to avoid sex before marriage do away with all things that can arouse your feelings.

5. Avoid seeing each other in a private place with your boyfriend. 

Sex is difficult to avoid if you allow yourself to be alone with your boyfriend or your girlfriend in a private place.

6. Don't see each other in the evenings.


It's important to avoid evenings as time of seeing each other. The best time to see each other is in the morning and afternoon.

7. Avoid seeing each other more frequently.


It's good to meet and know each other as partners but its not wise to see each other so frequently as if you are already married.there is need to keep some distance somehow.

8. Keep your mind occupied


Sex originates from the mind. There can not be sex without the involvement of the mind. so to avoid sex fill your mind with the word of God. keep yourself busy and never entertain evil thoughts .

9. Play with good friends


If you keep a company of people who are sleeping around before marriage it will be easy for you to do the same. Surround yourself with people who live a holy life.

10. Be selective on what you watch or listen to.


Watching and listening to romantic and sexual stuff can lead you into unplanned sex. What you watch most can easily tempt you into doing it.

11. Know that a boy friend or girl friend who wants to sleep with you before marriage doesn't really love you.


A person who loves you will wait for the right time to have sex with you.

12. Have a mentor or a spiritual person to monitor your relationship.

There is need for good counsel in any relationship. You need a person who is mature enough to guide you to live a holy life.

13. If you are a lady make sure that whenever you go to see your boyfriend wear clothes that cover all your private parts. 

If you are a lady and you go to see your boyfriend wearing clothes that expose your breasts, legs etc there is a chance of tempting your man to have sex with you.

14. Try make your courtship period short.

Long courtships before marriage can lead to sex.The more you know each other the easier it becomes to have sex together.

15. Learn to pray together and read the word of God together with your partner.

A relationship where partners don't pray together opens much room for sexual activities.

16. Give yourself to prayer and fasting.

Another way to discipline our bodies is to pray and fast. If you fast often your body is put under subjection.

17. Formalize your relationship as early as you can.


It very important to make the relationship known to the parents, pastors. This brings some respect in your relationship.

18. Do not spend so much money with your partner before marriage


Its good to buy good things for your partner before marriage but if you spend too much money your partner can be tempted to give in to sex for over trusting you.