1. SPIRITUAL NATURE AND CHARACTER!
The first gift for man or woman is not marriage or relationship. Yo need to know that you are created in God's image and likeness. The first thing to be concerned about as a single man or woman is your SPIRITUAL NATURE AND CHARACTER. What you need is to find YOURSELF, not a wife or seek for a relationship/ What most people know about themselves is their name they bear and where they hail from, you need to find yourself and be secured in the knowledge of who you are, have a healthy self-esteem and self'image. And the only way to go about it is to find it in God. You need to be confident in who God has made you. This confidence is only drawn from God. Never take your confidence in what you possess like money, car, social status or educational status/qualification. When you marry someone with self-esteem or self-worth that marriage will lose trust and faithfulness because you will always be defensive. Marriage is at its best when two God-like people get married.
2. LIKENESS!
In Genesis 1:26, God says "Let us make man in our image and in our likeness......." Likeness means to be like God. The purpose for which God made us in His LIKENESS is so that we can function like Him. Proverbs 25:28 says, "A person without self-control is like a city without fence" Anyone who does not know who he or she is becomes a fair game for someone else to mould into another image. Until you become whole you will always be dependent on other people for self-worth. Single state is the time to become like God so that the man or woman coming into your life for relationship will see unadulterated love in you. You also need to work on your appearance, your speech and general outlook. To have a very good, attractive and pleasant LIKENESS you have to work on your mouth. Learn to speak confidently for yourself so as not to depend on others for approvals.
3. GOD'S PRESENCE!
Before Adam needed the presence of another creation, he enjoyed the presence of the Creator. The first presence that you need in your life is not that of a boyfriend or girlfriend; but the presence of God. Imagine someone who just got saved and he is just getting to know God and within 3 months he wants to go into a relationship. Such a person will carry his or her old character into the relationship because he or she is yet to mature in the spirit and has not learned more about God's nature and His likeness has not fully formed in him or her. You need to use your single state to know more and more about God, your intending spouse should found you in God's presence. The glory of God's presence is a defense. His glory covers us and ensures we are not self-conscious and selfish. The glory of God should be your focal point not the flesh. Anyone who wants to marry you should meet you in God's presence and be able to see His glory in you.
4, WORK!
You need to be hardworking and diligent in what you do. You cannot afford to be lazy. You must have goals and dreams you are working towards. You must not be someone who lives without "no future ambition". You must be diligent at work and diligent in seeking God because at this stage of your life. you have a lot of time and you need to use it accountably. Even though you do not have work or gainfully employed you have gifts and talents, you need to creatively engaged.
5. CULTIVATION OF GARDEN!
To cultivate means "to bring out" or "to nurture". If you have not nurtured yourself, you cannot nurture somebody else. You need to first bring out the best in you so as to be able to bring out the best in somebody else. You need to cultivate yourself in order to cultivate someone else and make him or her better and nit bitter. Before starting a relationship you need to first of all consider this; are you a weed that will choke the relationship or a rich fertilizer that will help cultivate and nurture it. Fertilizers improve the quality of what you planted in it but weed stifles the quality.
6. PROTECTION!
You need to develop the capacity to defend and protect the interests and lives of those under your care. You need to be able to safeguard people's dignity, interest and confidence no matter what. You learned when you are already married but must develop this quality in your single state.You cannot be a talebearer.
7. THE WORD OF GOD!
It is only in the word of God that any relationship can maximize its full potentials. This is because marriage and relationships are two concepts of the heart of God. For you to get the best out of it, do not play with the word of God. That is where you get the image and the likeness that He wants you to get. That is where you get the real life and build strength of character which will sustain your relationship and marriage.
WHEN YOU DEVELOP THESE QUALITIES YOU ARE RIGHT FOR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE!!!.
Wednesday, 5 June 2013
CAN A SINGLE PARENT RAISE GODLY CHILDREN?
Can a single parent raise godly children?
YES! You can raise godly children. As a Christian
all you need do is to break out of single parent dysfunction junction and have
the family of your dreams. Your children
are destined to be more than “kids-gone-wrong” society statistics. They have
infinite potential to rise for above loneliness, rejection, dejection,
depression, stigmatized traits and disadvantage.
Single-parented
children can make sound choices, respect others, resist negative pressure and
create an uptrend of doing the right thing. It starts with your determination
to say “NO” to the status quo and your resolve to give new and significant
meaning to the term “family”. As a God fearing parent, you will learn how to
pull your children out of the dysfunctional swamp and into whole living. Avoid
“morale” decay and raise your children value quotient. Free your children,
resurrect their hopes and dreams, reduce the impact of negative influence and
lead them to Christ and keep them walking with God. Identify vulnerabilities
and deal with the tough stuff kids are into.
No matter
how inadequate you may feel as a single parent, no matter how many doubts you
have about the future of your children, the Bible offers hope. Make your home
one that draws on the Bible for decisions in life. Develop a plan for
introducing your children to Christ and helping them mature in their faith.
Make the Bible and Jesus Christ central to their lives. Help them get to know
Him and learn to make godly choices.
Where
children of single parents differ from the children whose parents live together
is in what they experience because of divorce, separation, desertion or the
death of a parent. These children experience great pain and confusion. Not only
is their lost relational but it often involves financial, social and
educational setbacks as well. Their security is shaken, and often they do not
know who they can trust- even their relationship with God can be affected. So as a
single parent, your children need you to provide stability, direction and
relief from the pressure they are feeling. They need you to be a godly parent
and a source of strength and security in their lives. This process will demand
growth and development in your life. And to do that these are few non-negotiable
that will help you.
First, deal with any unresolved
issues in your heart:
This is especially important to the divorced
and separated. If you are bitter or angry, if you have an unrepentant heart,
your attitude will affect not only your life, but your children as well.
Heb 12:15
says “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, that no root of
bitterness springing up cause’s trouble, and by it may be affected” Most often,
because of the pain and trauma of separation and divorce, single parents become
the unwitting source of the poison of bitterness in their children’s lives.
Dealing with the unresolved issues means taking responsibility for your
failures, mistakes and sins you made that led to your separation and divorce,
and ask for God’s forgiveness. Then, you will need to release any and all
bitterness and forgive your ex-spouse “just as God in Christ also have forgiven
you” (Eph 4:32).
Pursue an on- going, harmonious
relationship with your ex-spouse:
In custody
situations, no matter who wins or who gains the custody, there are no winners
or losers. Both parents must maintain a constant relationship with the
children.Your
attitude towards your former spouse and words that you chose to use will have a
lasting impact on your children’s perspective of their other parent. As much as
you can, work together with your ex-spouse to harmonize your parenting and
establish common parental goals, disciplinary standards and routines. Sometimes a
single parent will wish the non-custodial parent would disappear- but the
children need to know their parents. And in those situations the single parent
needs to apply grace and encourage the relationship. On a practical level, this
will mean applying to your ex-spouse the principle Jesus calls the second
greatest commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” Matt 22:39.
Also let the words of Peter in 1 Peter 3:8-9 govern your behavior.
Make a
special effort to control your tongue as you talk to your spouse. If difficult
conversation or disagreements occur, do your best to handle those privately,
away from the eyes and ears of your children.
Become a part of a community of
believers:
Single
parents must avoid getting isolated, which will tend to happen when they are
exhausting nearly all resources of time, finances and energy in seeking to make
a living and raise their children alone. God intends for single parents and
their children to experience His love, mercy, grace, provision and kindness
through the local church. In this way, the local church truly becomes a new
family for the single parents and their children.
In a
community of believers you can find other parents who can serve as a role
models and even mentors for your children. A young son without a father needs
someone to look up to, someone who can come alongside him and show him how to
be a godly man.
Develop a game plan for instruction
and discipline:
Children in
a single-parent home often take advantage of tired, emotionally worn parents
and skilfully manipulate them. Avoid
creating an environment in which “anything goes” and in which discipline and
proper instruction are lacking. Some single parents feeling sorry for what they
have experienced in a separated/divorce, over-compensate by giving too much
freedom. You have to set boundaries for your children in relation to moves,
dating and related matters. If possible, work with your former spouse to set
limits and boundaries so that you do not send mixed signals to your children.
But if your ex-spouse is too permissive, then you must commit your children and
the situation to prayer.
If you have more than one child, schedule
special individual time with each of them:
The purpose
of this time is to make sure that you’re connecting with them by spending
quality fun time that each child enjoys. This individual time will help give
them an outlet for processing their feelings for sharing in safety and
confidence their fears, pains and frustrations.
Schedule times alone and place your
hope in God:
Single
parents need time alone to reflect, pray, meditate on God’s word, heal and
commune with God. In these times God will refresh and recharge your batteries
back to the double charge you need in order to be the parent you need to be for
your children. Ensure those
times alone, your children are under the care of a loving friends or family and
church family because children benefits by being exposed to loving friends. Ask
God to give you the help and wisdom you need to raise your children. Remember the
warning and promise of Psalm 127:1 which says “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who builds it”. Make God the focus of your life and of your
family.
Finally,
single parents keep up fighting the fight of faith and with God on your side
you will finish your parenting assignment well above all facing steep
obstacles.
Friday, 17 May 2013
SHOULD BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS RELATIONSHIPS BE ENCOURAGED AMONG CHRISTIANS!
Before we look into this topic Biblically, let us check the dictionary meaning of boyfriend and girlfriend:
Boyfriend is an intimate male friend; a man with whom somebody has a romantic or sexual relationship!
Girlfriend is a woman or girl sweetheart or lover; a girl or woman with whom somebody has a romantic sexual relationship!
The first question to be asked is of what purpose is the relationship with someone of the opposite sex when you are not physically, mentally and spiritually ready? Too, what does Bible say about boyfriend and girlfriend? Let us look at the following scriptures;
1 Corinthians 6:18, it says "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body"
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, it says, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in that passion of lust like the gentiles who do not know God"
Mathews 5:28, it says, "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
From the dictionary definition, boyfriend and girlfriend to the world is when a man and a woman are romantically and sexually involved together. So the word boyfriend and girlfriend should not be used among Christians. Christians are free to be all they can be for God, but they are not free from God. God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin—sex outside the marriage relationship—always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. It often brings disease to our bodies. And it deeply affects our personality, which responds in anguish when we harm ourselves physically and spiritually. A Christian man or woman is not to consider entering into a relationship if he or she is not spiritually matured enough to fulfill his/her God-given responsibilities in a marriage! You should be matured enough in age and in life!This does not mean becoming spiritually perfect or finding someone who is spiritually perfect. Only Jesus was this way!
Before you are matured to go into a relationship that will lead to marriage, a Christian man should engage himself in developing the qualities of a Christian husband who will love his wife as Christ loved the church, while a Christian woman should engage in developing the qualities of becoming a biblically excellent wife that will submit to her husband!
A person who is matured enough to go into a relationship is one who is committed to follow God's plan for as godly marriage which includes expressing romantic and sexual intimacy only in marriage. And he or she has an ability to change and adapt personal habits, perspectives, attitude and the like in order to show love and concern to others. He or she has the ability to work through problems with others rather than seeing oneself as the victim and the other person as the perpetrator. he or she has the ability to control his or her emotions and direct them according to what is Biblically appropriate. When all these characteristics are in you, you then look for them in any potential life partner. You don't go into a relationship when you have not develop the above characteristics in your life, not perfectly, but enough so that you possess them on a regular basis in your relationships with other. "Considering relationship" is a time to solidify in your mind and heart that you are mature enough to marry or not mature enough to marry,
A Christian brother or sister is not to pursue a serious relationship until they are ready to marry. Instead invest your single years in a service to the Lord. There are reasons why people should devote their energies to something other than finding girlfriend/boyfriend. Until people are mature to marry, they should not be in a serious romantic relationship but should use their energies to mature. When a brother and sister are in a serious relationship when in their heart they know that they are not ready for marriage yet, there is every tendency that they will commit fornication because of the closeness. Sometimes, you might be tempted to sleep together to know if you are sexually compatible.
You don't have to sleep with a woman to know if both of you are "sexually compatible." Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. Sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good. when you place sex as the determining factor of the relationship, it will probably result in poor sex. When you focus on the other parts of your relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you will have a more enjoyable sex life. Do not allow the excitement of youth become a barrier to your closeness with God and make you focus on passing pleasures instead of eternal values. Make your strength available to God when it is still yours—during your youthful and single years. Don’t waste it on evil or meaningless activities that become bad habits and make you callous. Paul in 1 Tim 5:1-2, tells young Christian single men to treat young Christian single women like sisters. It is not sin for two single Christians to enjoy time together, enjoy one another's company, getting to know one another so that they can see if there is possibility of a more serious relationship that leads to courtship and marriage.
Ultimately, the goal of a Christian (not called to singleness) is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to have a spouse. When Christians get involve in having boyfriends and girlfriends for the fun of it when they know they are not ready for marriage or to see if they are marriage compatible and when it doesn't work out they discard and look for another, it got to show your insensitivity to God and His commandment and at the same time telling Him to stay out in that area of your life. Only God knows what is best for us and He is committed in giving us every thing we need to enable us live a godly life. Devote yourself in serving the Lord and He will guide you in making the choice of a right partner when the time comes because prudent wife is from Him. Proverbs 19:14
Boyfriend is an intimate male friend; a man with whom somebody has a romantic or sexual relationship!
Girlfriend is a woman or girl sweetheart or lover; a girl or woman with whom somebody has a romantic sexual relationship!
The first question to be asked is of what purpose is the relationship with someone of the opposite sex when you are not physically, mentally and spiritually ready? Too, what does Bible say about boyfriend and girlfriend? Let us look at the following scriptures;
1 Corinthians 6:18, it says "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body"
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, it says, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in that passion of lust like the gentiles who do not know God"
Mathews 5:28, it says, "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
From the dictionary definition, boyfriend and girlfriend to the world is when a man and a woman are romantically and sexually involved together. So the word boyfriend and girlfriend should not be used among Christians. Christians are free to be all they can be for God, but they are not free from God. God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin—sex outside the marriage relationship—always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. It often brings disease to our bodies. And it deeply affects our personality, which responds in anguish when we harm ourselves physically and spiritually. A Christian man or woman is not to consider entering into a relationship if he or she is not spiritually matured enough to fulfill his/her God-given responsibilities in a marriage! You should be matured enough in age and in life!This does not mean becoming spiritually perfect or finding someone who is spiritually perfect. Only Jesus was this way!
Before you are matured to go into a relationship that will lead to marriage, a Christian man should engage himself in developing the qualities of a Christian husband who will love his wife as Christ loved the church, while a Christian woman should engage in developing the qualities of becoming a biblically excellent wife that will submit to her husband!
A person who is matured enough to go into a relationship is one who is committed to follow God's plan for as godly marriage which includes expressing romantic and sexual intimacy only in marriage. And he or she has an ability to change and adapt personal habits, perspectives, attitude and the like in order to show love and concern to others. He or she has the ability to work through problems with others rather than seeing oneself as the victim and the other person as the perpetrator. he or she has the ability to control his or her emotions and direct them according to what is Biblically appropriate. When all these characteristics are in you, you then look for them in any potential life partner. You don't go into a relationship when you have not develop the above characteristics in your life, not perfectly, but enough so that you possess them on a regular basis in your relationships with other. "Considering relationship" is a time to solidify in your mind and heart that you are mature enough to marry or not mature enough to marry,
A Christian brother or sister is not to pursue a serious relationship until they are ready to marry. Instead invest your single years in a service to the Lord. There are reasons why people should devote their energies to something other than finding girlfriend/boyfriend. Until people are mature to marry, they should not be in a serious romantic relationship but should use their energies to mature. When a brother and sister are in a serious relationship when in their heart they know that they are not ready for marriage yet, there is every tendency that they will commit fornication because of the closeness. Sometimes, you might be tempted to sleep together to know if you are sexually compatible.
You don't have to sleep with a woman to know if both of you are "sexually compatible." Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. Sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good. when you place sex as the determining factor of the relationship, it will probably result in poor sex. When you focus on the other parts of your relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you will have a more enjoyable sex life. Do not allow the excitement of youth become a barrier to your closeness with God and make you focus on passing pleasures instead of eternal values. Make your strength available to God when it is still yours—during your youthful and single years. Don’t waste it on evil or meaningless activities that become bad habits and make you callous. Paul in 1 Tim 5:1-2, tells young Christian single men to treat young Christian single women like sisters. It is not sin for two single Christians to enjoy time together, enjoy one another's company, getting to know one another so that they can see if there is possibility of a more serious relationship that leads to courtship and marriage.
Ultimately, the goal of a Christian (not called to singleness) is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to have a spouse. When Christians get involve in having boyfriends and girlfriends for the fun of it when they know they are not ready for marriage or to see if they are marriage compatible and when it doesn't work out they discard and look for another, it got to show your insensitivity to God and His commandment and at the same time telling Him to stay out in that area of your life. Only God knows what is best for us and He is committed in giving us every thing we need to enable us live a godly life. Devote yourself in serving the Lord and He will guide you in making the choice of a right partner when the time comes because prudent wife is from Him. Proverbs 19:14
Friday, 3 May 2013
LADIES! LADIES!! LADIES!!!
Aren't you tired of crying over a guy that doesn't understand how you feel?
Aren't you tired of waiting for a guy that doesn't know how to answer you back on time?
Aren't you tired of standing by a guy that doesn't pay you the attention you crave for?
Aren't you tired of forgiving a guy that doesn't learn from his mistakes?
Aren't you tired of thinking about a guy that doesn't seem to wonder about how you're doing?
Aren't you tired of hurting over a guy who doesn't feel anything for you?
Aren’t you tired of sticking around a guy who doesn't appreciate what you do for him but he’s
only interested in your body?
Aren’t you fed-up of holding on a guy who daily flirts with other girls but he keeps on telling
you that he loves you so much?
Aren’t you tired of planning your future with a guy who doesn't love you the way you are?
Stop telling yourself "that it’s gonna be fine" because if it was, you wouldn't still be tired.
Just be a strong woman and make a final decision.
Stop wasting your time on someone who has no future with you.
Ladies, the second you realize that he is not ready, don’t waste another second trying to “pray” him ready.
Ladies, until he puts a ring on your finger, marriage advice does not apply to you. A woman and a wife are 2 different things. I mean that guy who takes you as a second option.
Trust in God and pray! The Bible says that to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life. Ladies say no to dirty minds, and stop all this bad thoughts, God is the way, the truth and life. If you need a husband, kneel down and pray and He will lead you to the right person. Finding someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower you with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness! When you feel loved, it brings out the best in you! When you know the value of your heart, you will only hand it to the one who is also aware of it is worth. Love really works… if you work at Love. A man who can not celebrate you does not love you.
#LADIES: A man WILL NOT respond to the God in you if he has yet to respond to the God in Him. #Marriage is a man agreeing to be the strength of God and the #Woman agreeing to be the heart of God. #Ladies: ALWAYS seek God for the purpose of why a man loves and want to marry you because it takes total commitment to birth a happy and successful marriage. No man can rule his home well without God and the Bible!
Aren't you tired of waiting for a guy that doesn't know how to answer you back on time?
Aren't you tired of standing by a guy that doesn't pay you the attention you crave for?
Aren't you tired of forgiving a guy that doesn't learn from his mistakes?
Aren't you tired of thinking about a guy that doesn't seem to wonder about how you're doing?
Aren't you tired of hurting over a guy who doesn't feel anything for you?
Aren’t you tired of sticking around a guy who doesn't appreciate what you do for him but he’s
only interested in your body?
Aren’t you fed-up of holding on a guy who daily flirts with other girls but he keeps on telling
you that he loves you so much?
Aren’t you tired of planning your future with a guy who doesn't love you the way you are?
Stop telling yourself "that it’s gonna be fine" because if it was, you wouldn't still be tired.
Just be a strong woman and make a final decision.
Stop wasting your time on someone who has no future with you.
Ladies, the second you realize that he is not ready, don’t waste another second trying to “pray” him ready.
Ladies, until he puts a ring on your finger, marriage advice does not apply to you. A woman and a wife are 2 different things. I mean that guy who takes you as a second option.
Trust in God and pray! The Bible says that to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life. Ladies say no to dirty minds, and stop all this bad thoughts, God is the way, the truth and life. If you need a husband, kneel down and pray and He will lead you to the right person. Finding someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower you with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness! When you feel loved, it brings out the best in you! When you know the value of your heart, you will only hand it to the one who is also aware of it is worth. Love really works… if you work at Love. A man who can not celebrate you does not love you.
#LADIES: A man WILL NOT respond to the God in you if he has yet to respond to the God in Him. #Marriage is a man agreeing to be the strength of God and the #Woman agreeing to be the heart of God. #Ladies: ALWAYS seek God for the purpose of why a man loves and want to marry you because it takes total commitment to birth a happy and successful marriage. No man can rule his home well without God and the Bible!
Monday, 15 April 2013
Until Marriage Comes Along, What Are You Supposed To Do In A Dating Relationship?
Until marriage comes along, what are you supposed to do in a dating relationship? How can you be a godly girlfriend and boyfriend? Your dating relationship lays a strong foundation of what you will become when you eventually marry. These are some tips of what is expected of godly boyfriend and girlfriend in a dating relationship.
1. Be Christ-Centered.
1. Be Christ-Centered.
The most foundational trait for being a good christian brother or good christian sister is to be Christ-Centered. Any girl or boy that does not have Christ as his or her center will not be able to become a godly girlfriend/boyfriend or have a healthy, God-honoring relationship. Such a man or woman will be in danger of having his or her friend become her or his center, his or her all, his or her everything which is honestly, idolatry. Anything coming first in your heart, before Christ, is your god as the Bible says in Deutronomy.11:16.“But be careful. Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods".The greatest command for God’s followers is to love Him with ALL their hearts and souls. You must love God foremost before you can truly love a christian brother or christian sister during your period of dating without committing an immoral act.
2. Be Confident in Christ.
Know who you are in Christ and exactly how He feels about you. You don't go about “fishing” for compliments or need constant assurance of your friend's feelings. If you do that you will tend to worry a lot in that relationship. And in your insecurity, you keep worrying about the future of the relationship, how he or she is feeling, or if he or she finds you attractive. Your confidence should be built upon the fact that you know who you are in Christ and not upon the compliments or praises coming from your christian brother or christian sister. John 12:43 says,"For they loved human praise more than the praise of God". A godly christian man or christian sister walks with confidence, with a smile on his or her face because she or he knows whose child he or she is. You should fear the Lord and trust in His promises for you. Don’t get me wrong, hearing friend compliments or hearing how he or she feels is great, and should definitely express he or she cares for you, but be careful if that brings a smile to your heart more than knowing God, who created you, loves you more and thinks you are far more beautiful than any man or woman could.
3. Be Encouraging
As a godly christian brother’s or christian sister's Christ-centered, you should encourage your friend in his or her relationship with God. It’s as simple as saying, “Ok, we’re going to end hanging out earlier tonight because I need time with God ” or “What’d you learn at church today?” While the godly christian man encourages his christian sister’s relationship with God, he does not lead her in it or to it. She should already be actively going to church, not going just because he started taking her. He’s an encourager, not enforcer or leader. 1 Thess.5:11 says; "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing". Romans 1:12 says: "When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours". Each person must have her or his own growing relationship with God. Not only do you encourage your christian brother or christian sister spiritually, you also encourage them emotionally Proverbs 21:7 says."The violence of the wicked sweeps them away, because they refuse to do what is just". Everyone especially Guys need to know they are respected. If your male friend gets a scholarship, a job promotion, let him know you’re proud of him and vice versa.
4. Be Supportive
A good christian sister supports his hobbies as said in Phil.2:4: "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too". Find out what your male friend’s interested in and support him. Play a video game with him sometimes. Listen to him practice the guitar. Whatever it is, show you care about the things that matter to him, not just what matters to you. Also the christian brother should make her female friend responsible. Seek her advice to show that you value her opinion. Include her in your decision-making process.
5. Be Independent.
A godly christian sister not only has her own spiritual walk but also HER OWN LIFE. Eccl. 4:9-10 says."You have captured my heart, my treasure,* my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. 10 Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices". Even in Song of Songs, the friends protected, encouraged, and held their beloved female friend accountable. A christian brother should make her female friend accountable. Make sure she shares with the reward and consequences of the decision you both made together. She does not throw away her own interests and desires. Don’t forget, your interests and hobbies make you both unique and special. A godly christian sister keeps seeking God’s will for her life. keeping with the plans she knows the Lord has for her and don't change your degree to match his or start planning on living where he is. Don't plan your life around him but around what you know God has for you at that moment in your life till you are married. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take".
6. Be Nice
Is Christ your first love? Do you date godly guys? Are you thoughtful of your male friend or female friend? When these 3 things are in check and God is the center of your dating life, then the dating road will be a lot less bumpy. Of course, not every relationship will end in marriage but each one will be healthier, more God-honoring, and filled with a lot less regrets because God’s in control.
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