Before we look into this topic Biblically, let us check the dictionary meaning of boyfriend and girlfriend:
Boyfriend is an intimate male friend; a man with whom somebody has a romantic or sexual relationship!
Girlfriend is a woman or girl sweetheart or lover; a girl or woman with whom somebody has a romantic sexual relationship!
The first question to be asked is of what purpose is the relationship with someone of the opposite sex when you are not physically, mentally and spiritually ready? Too, what does Bible say about boyfriend and girlfriend? Let us look at the following scriptures;
1 Corinthians 6:18, it says "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body"
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, it says, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in that passion of lust like the gentiles who do not know God"
Mathews 5:28, it says, "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
From the dictionary definition, boyfriend and girlfriend to the world is when a man and a woman are romantically and sexually involved together. So the word boyfriend and girlfriend should not be used among Christians. Christians are free to be all they can be for God, but they are not free from God. God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin—sex outside the marriage relationship—always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. It often brings disease to our bodies. And it deeply affects our personality, which responds in anguish when we harm ourselves physically and spiritually. A Christian man or woman is not to consider entering into a relationship if he or she is not spiritually matured enough to fulfill his/her God-given responsibilities in a marriage! You should be matured enough in age and in life!This does not mean becoming spiritually perfect or finding someone who is spiritually perfect. Only Jesus was this way!
Before you are matured to go into a relationship that will lead to marriage, a Christian man should engage himself in developing the qualities of a Christian husband who will love his wife as Christ loved the church, while a Christian woman should engage in developing the qualities of becoming a biblically excellent wife that will submit to her husband!
A person who is matured enough to go into a relationship is one who is committed to follow God's plan for as godly marriage which includes expressing romantic and sexual intimacy only in marriage. And he or she has an ability to change and adapt personal habits, perspectives, attitude and the like in order to show love and concern to others. He or she has the ability to work through problems with others rather than seeing oneself as the victim and the other person as the perpetrator. he or she has the ability to control his or her emotions and direct them according to what is Biblically appropriate. When all these characteristics are in you, you then look for them in any potential life partner. You don't go into a relationship when you have not develop the above characteristics in your life, not perfectly, but enough so that you possess them on a regular basis in your relationships with other. "Considering relationship" is a time to solidify in your mind and heart that you are mature enough to marry or not mature enough to marry,
A Christian brother or sister is not to pursue a serious relationship until they are ready to marry. Instead invest your single years in a service to the Lord. There are reasons why people should devote their energies to something other than finding girlfriend/boyfriend. Until people are mature to marry, they should not be in a serious romantic relationship but should use their energies to mature. When a brother and sister are in a serious relationship when in their heart they know that they are not ready for marriage yet, there is every tendency that they will commit fornication because of the closeness. Sometimes, you might be tempted to sleep together to know if you are sexually compatible.
You don't have to sleep with a woman to know if both of you are "sexually compatible." Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. Sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good. when you place sex as the determining factor of the relationship, it will probably result in poor sex. When you focus on the other parts of your relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you will have a more enjoyable sex life. Do not allow the excitement of youth become a barrier to your closeness with God and make you focus on passing pleasures instead of eternal values. Make your strength available to God when it is still yours—during your youthful and single years. Don’t waste it on evil or meaningless activities that become bad habits and make you callous. Paul in 1 Tim 5:1-2, tells young Christian single men to treat young Christian single women like sisters. It is not sin for two single Christians to enjoy time together, enjoy one another's company, getting to know one another so that they can see if there is possibility of a more serious relationship that leads to courtship and marriage.
Ultimately, the goal of a Christian (not called to singleness) is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to have a spouse. When Christians get involve in having boyfriends and girlfriends for the fun of it when they know they are not ready for marriage or to see if they are marriage compatible and when it doesn't work out they discard and look for another, it got to show your insensitivity to God and His commandment and at the same time telling Him to stay out in that area of your life. Only God knows what is best for us and He is committed in giving us every thing we need to enable us live a godly life. Devote yourself in serving the Lord and He will guide you in making the choice of a right partner when the time comes because prudent wife is from Him. Proverbs 19:14
No comments:
Post a Comment