Courtship time is the period a
Christian brother and sister agree to marry one another till their wedding day. Scripturally, no time period is specified e.g. Isaac and
Rebecca courted for few minutes (Gen. 24:62-67) which Jacob and Rachel courted
for Seven years plus (Gen. 29:18-28). A lot of times, circumstances usually
dictate. However, it is advise that courtship should not be less than six months
and should not be unnecessary dragged for too long. It is therefore advised
that brethren are ready before committing themselves into courtship. The purpose for courtship are as follows:
1. Gaining better knowledge
of each other
-
Know one another as much as possible
-
Exchange ideas and information
-
Discuss with each other on various topics
-
Meet your in-laws, relations and friends/co-workers
-
Arrange for your parents (on both sides) to meet.
2. Togetherness in the fear of the Lord
-
Do things together
-
Learn new things together
-
Worship together
-
Pray together
-
Fellowship together
-
Visit together
-
Spend together
-
Decide together
- It is a period to seek knowledge (Hosea 4 vs 6) from:
-
The Bible
-
Christian literatures on marriage
-
Christian marriage counselors/pastors
What type of knowledge is required?
-
Details of marriage and family life
-
God’s counsel and principles on marriage
-
Marital roles and responsibilities
-
Christian warfare in marriage
- It is a period of effective communication in which:
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You engage in active discussion
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You observe one another closely
-
You listen attentively to your partner
-
You take note of information from friends, parents, brethren and pastors.
-
You visit one another at home,
at work, and in the church.
Things to discover about one another:
-
Personality profile
-
Family background
-
Social tastes/friends
-
Life history
-
Future ambition/Christian calling
-
Temperament
-
Leadership ability
-
Sense of humour
-
Use of tongue
-
Reaction to good and bad news
-
General comportment during unguarded moments, i.e at play.
-
Attitude to the following:
i)
Money
ii)
Jewelries
iii)
Correction/ disagreement
iv)
Instructions/ Obedience
v)
Respect
vi)
Discipline
- It is a period to reach agreement on certain issues (Amos 3:3) such as:
§ The type of wedding you
want
§ Where to live after the
wedding
§ Which church to attend
§ Nature of work and where
to work
§ Size of family etc.
- It is a period to develop your companionship ability. You assess how compatible you are, and try to adjust or adapt appropriately:
§ Socially
§ Educationally
§ Family status
§ Emotionally
§ Professionally
§ Identifying with one
another
- It is a period to give and receive through :
§ Sharing together
§ Buying gifts for one
another, parents, relatives and friends.
- It is a period to plan your introduction, engagement and wedding ceremonies.
- It is a period to plan for your future home.
§ Prayerfully
§ Building one another up
in the word of God
§ Sharing God’s vision that
would be fulfilled together
§ Children and old age
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