Thursday, 6 February 2014
RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES TO AVOID!!!
For us to experience bliss in our relationship, I have carefully outline the mistakes we need to avoid. Mistakes are inevitable as it is commonly said but it can be avoided or limited when we observe the pointers that can prevent us from making a regrettable one. Carefully read through the following mistakes to avoid.
1. Don't assume your partner would know how you feel
Communicate your feelings. Man and woman are two different gender. They see things differently and as a result what tickles a man and woman are different. Many people think their partner should know how they feel, what they are thinking of and their mood. However, this usually does not work as we think. Find the right avenue to discuss how you feel. Assumption does not solve issues it only compound problems.
2. Never expect much from your relationship
Failure to meet your expectations could bring about disappointments. A lot of people usually expect their partner to satisfy all their needs. For instance, your partner cannot give you joy no matter how caring or affectionate they might be. If your joy is not from the inside, no one else can make you joyful. Don't make your expectations high. They are human and cannot meet all. But when you have low expectations, you won't have much of heartache or emotional trauma.
3. Avoid cheating on your partner
Try as much as possible to confide in them emotionally and sexually and remain faithful. Don't keep anyone as your confidant other than your spouse. Cheating destroys the trust and happiness in a relationship. Stay away from all avenues to cheat on your partner. Also no man or woman can keep their partner faithful. The fear of God keeps a man/woman faithful.
4. Avoid playing the blame game
Blame does no good to a relationship or one's partner other than frustrate life out of them. When you blame your partner, it shows that you are shelving your responsibility off you. Be courageous and bold enough to be responsible for your actions. Also, rather than blame, mutually discuss any issues that can affect your partner or the relationship.
5. Don't promise what you cannot fulfill. Only do what is within your limit
As people seek to be loved or accepted in a relationship, they often tend to magnify their capacities. Hence, this will make them dishonest or feel unworthy with their partner. In a bid to be accepted, do what you can do and promise what you can fulfill.
6. Don't dwell on residual knowledge
A lot of us usually believe we have what it takes to handle our relationship in terms of knowledge and wisdom. But we often dwell on our residual knowledge and this will not help us. We need more experiences and ideas from people who have practical and proven knowledge about relationships. Read books, attend seminars and listen to educative programs. This will equip you with the knowledge to handle your relationship. The Bible in 1 peter 3:7 says, "Husband dwell with your wife according to knowledge, giving honor unto her......." Without acquiring the necessary knowledge from God on how to dwell with your partner, you will only be living together and not dwelling together.
7. Don't do it alone, involve God
It is believed that a threefold cord is not easily broken. Who you share intimacy with in your relationship determines the strength of your relationship. Most of us involve friends, parent or colleagues in our relationship but their contribution usually affects us negatively. When you involve God in the affairs of your relationship, He will give you the strength and wisdom to handle any issues. Don't believe you can do it successfully without God. Psalm 89:21 says, "With whom my hand shall be established: mine arm also shall strengthen him." If God bring you to it, He will also take you through it.
8. Don't try to make a wrong relationship work
After seeing warning signals, most people blindly remain in their relationship thinking they can make it work. An abusive partner may not change even if you do all you can. Be sensitive to use your head and heart in determining the real nature of your partner. Don't be carried away by a show of affection or love. They are not genuine. Don't waste your time and resources on making a wrong relationship work. It is better to have a broken engagement than to build on a faulty relationship. What God is not in, will not work no matter the effort you put into it.
9. Don't just profess love but express it
Love is best practiced when it is not only professed but expressed. It is expressed in words and deeds through sacrifice and commitment. Don't just say "I Love You", say it when you mean it and when you need to reaffirm your vows to your partner. Love is action not words, people treat you the way they feel about you, words lie, actions don't. If you know what right but don't do it, you are in the same category with the person that do not know. The need to feel #Loved is a top #Emotional need we all have. Learn how the one you love needs to feel Loved.!!
10. Don't remain as you are
Work to improve yourself in all areas of your life. Develop your emotional, spiritual, financial and mental life. Stagnancy sucks relationship and slow poke its growth. Endeavor to be matured emotionally as this would save you from being hurt or pained. Maturity creates a level of independence for you in your relationship. Don't remain immature this year. The Bible says that God's grace is sufficient for us. Always ask for God's grace to develop a quality character that reflect Jesus and knowledge required daily to be able to sustain your relationship to the end
11. Don't be suspicious
Do not create room for suspicion in your relationship. Be consistent always in what you say or do. Because suspicion creates a form of doubt and negative image of the person that is suspected. It breeds worry and fear even if it lack an element of truth. When you become suspicious, it will affect the trust level of your relationship. Don't create an avenue to be suspected rather discuss any issues that can lead to suspicion. Be open in discussion and avoid secrecy.
12. Don't dwell on falsehood
"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". There are many people who are envious of your relationship and the only way to ruin it is when they say untrue things about it. Don't hold on to lies, falsehood or untrue statement; however, seek to know the truth from your partner by communicating effectively. Don't react to hearsay but find the truth.
13. Avoid becoming impatient
It takes patience to make relationship work. Impatience causes a lot of havoc such as anger, abuse, nagging and other issues. There are some issues that can be solved amicably with "I'm sorry" but impatience will magnify it. Cultivate patience in your lifestyle and relationship. Patience does not mean you are silly or weak, it only shows your level of maturity.
14. Avoid living a false life
Be yourself! Many people live less than their true self by trying to please others. This will make them function less than their original self. Try to be yourself and live your best. It is better that you are accepted the way you are than to be accepted for who you are not. Don't make the mistake of living a false life, it shows you lack originality and stability.
Mistakes can be avoided in your relationship when you follow the necessary steps. Don't live in assumption but talk out issues, don't be suspicious but clarify any element of doubt, don't live a false life but be your real self. Never cheat on your partner but ensure to remain faithful to your promises. A single mistake can affect the success of your relationship. Endeavor to avoid it as much as you can. Remember, issues are inevitable but can be limited. PEACE!!!!
Friday, 22 November 2013
MEN NEED TO FIND THEIR VISION BEFORE BRINGING A WOMAN INTO THEIR LIVES!
The most important discovery of a male is his vision. Vision gives a male a sense of meaning in life. Vision provides security and meaning for the female also because she came into your life to help you go to wherever you are going.You should never marry a woman if you don’t know where you are going. That’s an abuse of a woman. She came to help you, to help you with what, is the question. The male was created first. First doesn't mean you are better, it means you are responsible for everything that comes after you. God never taught the woman anything, He automatically made the male her teacher.
The greatest gift God gave man is not the gift of sight, but the gift of vision. The greatest enemy of vision is sight. Sight is a function of the eyes but vision is a function of the heart. Never trust your eyes over your vision. Vision shows you what could be, sight shows you what is. Always live by what you see with your vision, and not what you see with your eyes. The Bible says we walk by faith not by sight. Vision contradict your eyes.
If you have no vision, you can be lead by good things that are not right. Good things are not always right. Vision is purpose which you can see.A man who knows his purpose doesn't go home and sit in front of the television with beer in his hand, drinking for five hours. Vision makes you a finished man. Your vision is your true concept.
To know if a vision is from God, it will make you look like a fool. If they believe you the first time you tell them, it’s not from God. Joseph ran and told his daddy, I saw myself sitting on the throne. His brothers said are you crazy? If they don’t think you are crazy, its not a vision from God yet. Joseph’s brothers couldn't handle his dream; they threw his clothes off and threw him in a pit. Joseph never got angry. Joseph in the pit must have said to himself, this is not what I saw. If what you see is not what you saw, then what you see is temporary. Your job is your temporary employment. Enjoy where you are, because it isn't permanent, its temporary. When his brothers took Joseph to the desert and threw him into the pit, it had to be one of the pits right next to the highway, where the merchants caravans would be coming all the way from Syria to Egypt to do business. They had to have thrown him into the right pit right next to the highway. It was the right pit that the caravans had to pass. When his brothers saw the caravans, the took him out of the pit and sold him on the side of the road to the caravans. He was in the right pit right next to the right highway, because the free transportation that he needed to get to the throne was coming that same highway.
If a man wants to marry a woman, the first question a woman should ask a man is not do you love me?, but where are you going. Work before woman, vision before woman, assignment before woman. When a man finds his work, he secures the peace of the woman. A woman doesn't come to compete with you, she comes to complete you.
Most men marry women like companies hire people. Some companies hire people and don’t give them anything to do. It's so frustrating to hire someone and not tell them what to do. When a man discovers his work, then he’s ready for a woman to help him in his work.The woman was created to help the man. If someone is coming to help you, you must be doing something. God said, I will make for him a helper. Everything God built into a woman is to help her man. When some men meet some women, they feel threatened, because they've got no project for her to work on. A woman needs a mans work to be fulfilled, because, she’s a helper. A helper comes to help you. If you need to lift a podium, and you need help, you either need someone as strong as you are, or stronger. We think the woman is the weaker vessel. The word weaker in the Bible means delicate, not without strength. The helper has to either be as strong or stronger, to help you with your work.
WHAT IS A MAN'S VISION THAT GOD GAVE HIM?
SELF-IMAGE: The first thing God gave the male was image, because the most important thing males must have is a self image. His self-image and self confidence is in God. And he must know he is the image of God.
BE IN HIS PRESENCE: The second thing is that the first place God put the man was in Eden, in His presence. The male was placed in the garden first but the female was presented to the man in the Eden. The female met the male in the garden(God's presence). A woman should always marry a man who you meet in God's presence. If you meet a man in the presence of God you cannot go wrong. You don't go outside of the presence of the Lord to meet a man and then try to bring him in the presence of God.
WORK (VISION): The third thing God gave to man was to work (Assignment/vision). God gave man work before woman. Your work is not your job. Your job is what they pay you to do. Your work is what you were born to do. You can retire form your job, you cannot retire from your work because your work is your gift. Your work is your purpose; your purpose is the original reason why you were created. Your work is your source of vision. Vision is purpose in pictures. When you see what you were born to do in pictures, that is your vision. When you find your purpose and see it in pictures, you have discovered your vision. The woman met the man working. You need a man who is working. A man who loves to work.
HOW DOES A WOMAN HELP A MAN IN HIS WORK? PROVERBS 14:1
WISE WOMAN: The Holy Spirit is called the same thing a woman is called 'HELPER'. That is the one who comes along side to help. Holy Spirit does not take over our life, He always comes to help us do what we are doing. So you don't pray and ask Holy Spirit to take over your life. It is a wrong prayer because He is not structured or designed to do that. The Bible says, " when the Holy Spirit comes, He will guide us into all truth and bring to remembrance all things you learnt". If you know nothing, He will keep reminding you "you know nothing", "you know nothing". Knowledge (information) gives the Holy Spirit materials to use when you are under pressure. So a man must be sure he has a plan in place for his life before a woman comes in because a woman like the Holy Spirit comes loaded and equipped ready to help. She got intuition, wisdom, insight, intelligence, sensitivity, power, incubation, anointing and she comes into your life ready to help but if you are doing nothing she can't help you do nothing. She is a provider. You give her a sperm she produces a child. You give her a home she gives you a beautiful house to live in. She is an incubator. God designed a female to be an incubator. An incubator is something that gives life to everything. If you give a woman a word, she will give a sentence. You give her a sentence, she gives a paragraph. You give her a paragraph, you get yourself a book. You give her frustration, she multiplies it and give you hell. A female is an incubator, she receives information, expand it and gives it back to you. A female never keep anything. Incubators never keep anything. they will hold it for a while but you will eventually get it back, and it never comes back the way you gave it out. It comes back multiplied. That is why a woman will bear a pressure for twenty years and one day all of a sudden she goes crazy on the husband. A woman is an encourager. When a man begins to share his vision with you, you need to encourage him even when it seems impossible. God also designed a woman to be a receiver. She is built to receive which means whatever she sees she desires that is why women never have enough. And this create problems for a man if not controlled. Proverbs 31 says a noble woman does not cause her husband to go after spoil. That is a wise woman even though she sees what she wants she does not pressure her man to get it. You don't demand things that will put pressure on your husband. You cannot have everything you see. In a marriage the man is a provider, the source and the woman is suppose to be the incubator. How? Male was design by God to carry the weight of the entire family. Wherever something comes out of sustains it. That is where Father comes from. The male man comes from God. Father means source or sustainer. God created the male out of Himself. God is the Father of the male and his source. The female did not come from the soil. She came out of the male which means the male has become the source of the female.So the male is the father of the female. He is the source and the sustainer of the female. The word "FATHER" means the source and sustainer which means everything you source you gat to sustain. God is responsible for creating the male and then created the female from the male. Secondly, He is a cultivator and the woman is suppose to be the provider. He is the giver and she is the receiver. He is the protector and she is suppose to be the encourager. He is the developer and she is supposed to be the nourisher. He is a teacher and she is suppose to be resource. A woman is design to help a man fulfill the assignment God put in a man to do. A woman is not the the one who comes to destroy what he was assign to do. You don't marry a man and dictate how he is suppose to live. A helper does not run the show. A wise woman helps her husband achieve, studies her husband and constantly does not irritate him, criticize him. A wise woman keeps asking him a question. She tries to find out what his dreams are, his vision is, what his desires are. Her goal is to study him to really get his vision because you cannot help somebody who you do not know his assignment.
FOOLISH WOMAN: Foolish woman is the one who comes into a man's life that is already doing something, instead of helping him because her foolishness and possess with her own plan believes that what she is doing is more important and that she needs her man to do it with her and forget whatever he is doing and do what she is doing. That is a usurp of authority on the man. A woman who finds out that her man has a vision should not create two visions in the house. Submit your vision into his vision. If a woman comes into a man's life and do not submit her vision to the man's, she is creating a division that will ruin the marry. A woman's sense of direction in a marriage is subject to the man's headship! She takes her lead from him! The man uses His vision, talents, skills, power and authority to bring out the very best out of the woman and thereby ensures that her gifts are fully developed to the glory of God. So that is why a man must discover his vision first before looking for a helper! And also a woman is advised to ensure she marries a man with a vision who will help her fulfill her own vision. A woman is a helper and not a destroyer.
Finally, a man needs a woman who can be a helper, the one who can incubate his dreams, encourage him to pursue God's goal for his life, a healer in time of stress, who will not become his number critics but his number protection, one who will be there for him.
The greatest gift God gave man is not the gift of sight, but the gift of vision. The greatest enemy of vision is sight. Sight is a function of the eyes but vision is a function of the heart. Never trust your eyes over your vision. Vision shows you what could be, sight shows you what is. Always live by what you see with your vision, and not what you see with your eyes. The Bible says we walk by faith not by sight. Vision contradict your eyes.
If you have no vision, you can be lead by good things that are not right. Good things are not always right. Vision is purpose which you can see.A man who knows his purpose doesn't go home and sit in front of the television with beer in his hand, drinking for five hours. Vision makes you a finished man. Your vision is your true concept.
To know if a vision is from God, it will make you look like a fool. If they believe you the first time you tell them, it’s not from God. Joseph ran and told his daddy, I saw myself sitting on the throne. His brothers said are you crazy? If they don’t think you are crazy, its not a vision from God yet. Joseph’s brothers couldn't handle his dream; they threw his clothes off and threw him in a pit. Joseph never got angry. Joseph in the pit must have said to himself, this is not what I saw. If what you see is not what you saw, then what you see is temporary. Your job is your temporary employment. Enjoy where you are, because it isn't permanent, its temporary. When his brothers took Joseph to the desert and threw him into the pit, it had to be one of the pits right next to the highway, where the merchants caravans would be coming all the way from Syria to Egypt to do business. They had to have thrown him into the right pit right next to the highway. It was the right pit that the caravans had to pass. When his brothers saw the caravans, the took him out of the pit and sold him on the side of the road to the caravans. He was in the right pit right next to the right highway, because the free transportation that he needed to get to the throne was coming that same highway.
If a man wants to marry a woman, the first question a woman should ask a man is not do you love me?, but where are you going. Work before woman, vision before woman, assignment before woman. When a man finds his work, he secures the peace of the woman. A woman doesn't come to compete with you, she comes to complete you.
Most men marry women like companies hire people. Some companies hire people and don’t give them anything to do. It's so frustrating to hire someone and not tell them what to do. When a man discovers his work, then he’s ready for a woman to help him in his work.The woman was created to help the man. If someone is coming to help you, you must be doing something. God said, I will make for him a helper. Everything God built into a woman is to help her man. When some men meet some women, they feel threatened, because they've got no project for her to work on. A woman needs a mans work to be fulfilled, because, she’s a helper. A helper comes to help you. If you need to lift a podium, and you need help, you either need someone as strong as you are, or stronger. We think the woman is the weaker vessel. The word weaker in the Bible means delicate, not without strength. The helper has to either be as strong or stronger, to help you with your work.
WHAT IS A MAN'S VISION THAT GOD GAVE HIM?
SELF-IMAGE: The first thing God gave the male was image, because the most important thing males must have is a self image. His self-image and self confidence is in God. And he must know he is the image of God.
BE IN HIS PRESENCE: The second thing is that the first place God put the man was in Eden, in His presence. The male was placed in the garden first but the female was presented to the man in the Eden. The female met the male in the garden(God's presence). A woman should always marry a man who you meet in God's presence. If you meet a man in the presence of God you cannot go wrong. You don't go outside of the presence of the Lord to meet a man and then try to bring him in the presence of God.
WORK (VISION): The third thing God gave to man was to work (Assignment/vision). God gave man work before woman. Your work is not your job. Your job is what they pay you to do. Your work is what you were born to do. You can retire form your job, you cannot retire from your work because your work is your gift. Your work is your purpose; your purpose is the original reason why you were created. Your work is your source of vision. Vision is purpose in pictures. When you see what you were born to do in pictures, that is your vision. When you find your purpose and see it in pictures, you have discovered your vision. The woman met the man working. You need a man who is working. A man who loves to work.
HOW DOES A WOMAN HELP A MAN IN HIS WORK? PROVERBS 14:1
WISE WOMAN: The Holy Spirit is called the same thing a woman is called 'HELPER'. That is the one who comes along side to help. Holy Spirit does not take over our life, He always comes to help us do what we are doing. So you don't pray and ask Holy Spirit to take over your life. It is a wrong prayer because He is not structured or designed to do that. The Bible says, " when the Holy Spirit comes, He will guide us into all truth and bring to remembrance all things you learnt". If you know nothing, He will keep reminding you "you know nothing", "you know nothing". Knowledge (information) gives the Holy Spirit materials to use when you are under pressure. So a man must be sure he has a plan in place for his life before a woman comes in because a woman like the Holy Spirit comes loaded and equipped ready to help. She got intuition, wisdom, insight, intelligence, sensitivity, power, incubation, anointing and she comes into your life ready to help but if you are doing nothing she can't help you do nothing. She is a provider. You give her a sperm she produces a child. You give her a home she gives you a beautiful house to live in. She is an incubator. God designed a female to be an incubator. An incubator is something that gives life to everything. If you give a woman a word, she will give a sentence. You give her a sentence, she gives a paragraph. You give her a paragraph, you get yourself a book. You give her frustration, she multiplies it and give you hell. A female is an incubator, she receives information, expand it and gives it back to you. A female never keep anything. Incubators never keep anything. they will hold it for a while but you will eventually get it back, and it never comes back the way you gave it out. It comes back multiplied. That is why a woman will bear a pressure for twenty years and one day all of a sudden she goes crazy on the husband. A woman is an encourager. When a man begins to share his vision with you, you need to encourage him even when it seems impossible. God also designed a woman to be a receiver. She is built to receive which means whatever she sees she desires that is why women never have enough. And this create problems for a man if not controlled. Proverbs 31 says a noble woman does not cause her husband to go after spoil. That is a wise woman even though she sees what she wants she does not pressure her man to get it. You don't demand things that will put pressure on your husband. You cannot have everything you see. In a marriage the man is a provider, the source and the woman is suppose to be the incubator. How? Male was design by God to carry the weight of the entire family. Wherever something comes out of sustains it. That is where Father comes from. The male man comes from God. Father means source or sustainer. God created the male out of Himself. God is the Father of the male and his source. The female did not come from the soil. She came out of the male which means the male has become the source of the female.So the male is the father of the female. He is the source and the sustainer of the female. The word "FATHER" means the source and sustainer which means everything you source you gat to sustain. God is responsible for creating the male and then created the female from the male. Secondly, He is a cultivator and the woman is suppose to be the provider. He is the giver and she is the receiver. He is the protector and she is suppose to be the encourager. He is the developer and she is supposed to be the nourisher. He is a teacher and she is suppose to be resource. A woman is design to help a man fulfill the assignment God put in a man to do. A woman is not the the one who comes to destroy what he was assign to do. You don't marry a man and dictate how he is suppose to live. A helper does not run the show. A wise woman helps her husband achieve, studies her husband and constantly does not irritate him, criticize him. A wise woman keeps asking him a question. She tries to find out what his dreams are, his vision is, what his desires are. Her goal is to study him to really get his vision because you cannot help somebody who you do not know his assignment.
FOOLISH WOMAN: Foolish woman is the one who comes into a man's life that is already doing something, instead of helping him because her foolishness and possess with her own plan believes that what she is doing is more important and that she needs her man to do it with her and forget whatever he is doing and do what she is doing. That is a usurp of authority on the man. A woman who finds out that her man has a vision should not create two visions in the house. Submit your vision into his vision. If a woman comes into a man's life and do not submit her vision to the man's, she is creating a division that will ruin the marry. A woman's sense of direction in a marriage is subject to the man's headship! She takes her lead from him! The man uses His vision, talents, skills, power and authority to bring out the very best out of the woman and thereby ensures that her gifts are fully developed to the glory of God. So that is why a man must discover his vision first before looking for a helper! And also a woman is advised to ensure she marries a man with a vision who will help her fulfill her own vision. A woman is a helper and not a destroyer.
Finally, a man needs a woman who can be a helper, the one who can incubate his dreams, encourage him to pursue God's goal for his life, a healer in time of stress, who will not become his number critics but his number protection, one who will be there for him.
Thursday, 31 October 2013
IS MONEY IMPORTANT IN A MARRIAGE?
Money is very important in a marriage because this will determine the success of the relationship. Without money, couples and children are affected.
Although money is not everything in a relationship, money could make or unmake a relationship. Money is very important to people especially to couples. Many relationships have failed and died a natural death because of money. Although we hate to admit it, money is often times the root of all the problems in a relationship.
When the family’s financial status becomes unstable, the relationship of couples are affected. What is worse, the kids often are the worst affected especially when they are still going to school. If money is the problem, kids are sometimes transferred to cheaper schools. The other needs are controlled and sometimes the quantity and quality of food is reduced. Extra-expenses are cut off and only the necessities are provided.
Many relationships have gone sour because of money. Couples must both have good sources of income to provide for the family’s needs. If one is earning more than the other, what usually happens is there is a conflict between the couples. This means that money is very important in a relationship, whether it is for spending or it is the principle behind it. Some couples fight because one of them does not know how to save money.
The need of the family
At the start, couples do not have children. There are no additional mouths to feed and they can live a lifestyle that they choose to have. When kids come, changes follow. There is no problem at all if the couple is earning that much to provide well for the kids but in some situations, the couple maybe earning just enough which make life with children hard to cope with. Sometimes, the problems start from here when additional expenses are needed for the children.
How important money is to a relationship depends on many factors:
The lifestyle of the family
The importance of money in a relationship sometimes depends on what lifestyle the couple or family chooses to have. Simple people often have happy relationships even with just enough money to spend. Those who aim for a more luxurious lifestyle often end up being unhappy because they choose a life that they sometimes cannot afford. If there is no more money to spend, relationships often get into trouble. This is where relationships sometimes end.
The kind of job the couple has
Of course, those who earn more could afford to have a more comfortable life than those who earn less. Problems come when the couples could not provide for the family’s needs. If there is financial problem in the family, situations change.
Communicate About Your Finances
You need to make sure that you will work together on your finances. This means that you should sit down and openly discuss where you are currently including all of your debt and assets. Once you are married you combine these. It can be very frustrating to have one person spend money frivolously while the other one saves money constantly. You need to work together to find a happy medium. You will need to come to major decisions together, and decide how to deal with financial pressures from extended family, or other tough financial decisions that may come up.
Set Goals Together
After you discuss where you each are financially you should set specific finance related goals as a couple. This can include getting out of debt, buying a home and saving for retirement. You should be specific with a timeline and amounts, because this will help you stay on track. Your goals will help you to succeed financially and retire comfortably. As you work together to achieve these goals you will find that the direction and purpose helps to strengthen your marriage.
Additionally, you should plan a budget together. This will help you to work together to achieve your goals. It also sets up clear spending guidelines. When you are budgeting as a couple, it is essential that you communicate on a regular basis. At first, you may need to go over the budget every night and report your spending to each other. Once you have been budgeting for a few months, you may be able to talk about your finances just twice a week. By discussing what you have spent and keeping a running total of your budget, you will both be involved the daily financial decisions and work together as a team. As you work at it, preparing a budget will get easier. Take the time now to great good financial habits in your marriage. An allowance for both of you can help stop money fights and give you money to spend on some of the things you want each month.
Finally, when it comes to marriage and money, you should let go of the past and move forward together. If you are going to resent the student loan or credit card debt your spouse brings into the marriage, you may need to rethink getting married. When you are married you take on both the positive and negative aspects of the marriage. It is important to consider the debt and savings as ours instead of yours or mine. This will lead to a much more positive experience for both of you. You may want to talk to a marriage counselor or a church leader about these issues before you get married. Doing this can prevent you from going through a divorce and the financial problems that divorce causes. If your spouse refuses to combine finances, it may be a sign of deeper marriage issues. You should seek counseling to address the issue.
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY!
Marriage is the foundation of
a family, and a family is a small church of Christ. It is the family that is
the meaning and purpose of marriage.
There are many
institutions in the world today, but only two institutions were established by
God. These are the church and the home. It is significant that God chose to
create the home first. A home starts when two people get married. Marriage is
the most important relationship in the physical world. We should be careful to
follow the rules that God has made for marriage. lf you follow God's pattern,
you can have a wonderful marriage.
Marriage and family is instituted by God. It is not man's idea. Let us look at Genesis 2 vs 18 -21:
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man* to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs* and closed up the opening.
Man was not consulted. man has no contribution. It is purely an institution of God. So it is stupid to ignore Him when you are talking about marriage. The passage above said that man was formed from the ground(dust). We all know that dust has no value yet God put His breathe into a valueless thing. What He is saying here is when God step into a something that is valueless, He put His life in it. Without the life of God in a family, that family is useless like that of the dry bone in Ezekiel 37. life must has the breathe of God in it for it to have a meaning and identity!
What is the breathe of God:
Let us look at these passages John 6 vs 63 and Isaiah 34 vs 16
Isaiah 34: 16 says, "Seek and read from the book of the Lord: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. for the mouth of the Lord has commanded, and His Spirit has gathered them". (RSV)
John 6:63 says, "It is the Spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life". (RSV)
God's word is God's Spirit.The Holy Spirit gives spiritual life; without the work of the Holy Spirit, it becomes difficult for couples to see the need to work together for the singleness of purpose and for the success of their marriage. Crisis in any family is not Satanic but a wisdom deficiency. Without the word of God every family will remain a STATUE without life. Because the understanding of God's word and practicing obedience is a solid foundation to weather the storms of life together. Marriage is not a man's product but God's product and He left a manual on how it has to to function. And the manual left is the BIBLE! When the manual is not followed it distort and defeat the purpose for which it is created. No man can tell you how to marry. You need to go to the manufacturer for the manual. Psalm 11 vs 3 says, "If the foundation are destroyed, what can the righteous do"?No other foundation can couple lay in marriage that that which God has already laid. If you try to lay another foundation you will be useless. No man can have result unless he is willing to change and embrace and live by the principles lay out in the word of God. The ability to accept the truth and change is maturity. maturity is not of age but understanding of the word of God. And nothing can be truer than the true. NO OUTDATED TRUTH!
Things that will make your marriage and family difference:
1. The word of God must be your guiding truth. marriage cannot stand without the word of God.
2. Value the word of God most and you will never have a problem. For where there is God, there everything is good.
3. Live the word by applying His teachings in your marriage and you will then have a blissful marriage you desire.
4. Love and respect each other and make devotion and praying together a priority in your home.
5. Never see each other as an enemy but the devil as your common enemy.
6. A man's acceptance of his role as protector is the true measure of his manhood in his home.
7. Set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your entire life around it .
Things that will make your marriage and family difference:
1. The word of God must be your guiding truth. marriage cannot stand without the word of God.
2. Value the word of God most and you will never have a problem. For where there is God, there everything is good.
3. Live the word by applying His teachings in your marriage and you will then have a blissful marriage you desire.
4. Love and respect each other and make devotion and praying together a priority in your home.
5. Never see each other as an enemy but the devil as your common enemy.
6. A man's acceptance of his role as protector is the true measure of his manhood in his home.
7. Set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your entire life around it .
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
WOMANHOOD!
Woman is a crown of God's creation. The epitome of beauty, splendid of excellence, the glory of man. She was created to meet man's insufficiency. Her characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile to provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. The woman supports man just as the rib cage supports the body.”
In 1 Peter 3:7, Woman is called the “weaker” vessel, it does not imply moral or intellectual inferiority but recognizing the woman’s physical limitations. A women need protection from the men because if left unprotected they become vulnerable to attack, abuse, and financial disaster. A man who honors his wife as a member of the weaker sex will protect, respect, help, and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full-time outside the home and full-time at home; he will lighten her load wherever he can. He will be sensitive to her needs, and he will relate to her with courtesy, consideration, insight, and tact.
The role of a woman is so crucial to the purpose of God that Satan spends more time plotting his attack against her than the man. His biggest goal is to try and separate the woman from the man, physically and spiritually. When Satan spoke to the woman in the garden, it was with the intention of separating her from the word of God, the purpose of God, her family and her man.
The present day independent woman phenomenon is a sophisticated packaging of the old trick of the serpent. To separate the woman from the man is part of the grand plan to separate the woman from her covenant of motherhood with God. It is not to be taken lightly; we should not be joining the women who lack understanding to sing the song made popular by Destiny’s Child, Independent Woman. The song is the sound track of a satanic agenda to further breakdown what God joined together from the beginning. God so joined them together that the woman was brought out of the man by a rib. The same way Satan tries to separate the woman from the man is the same way he tries to separate the church, the bride of Christ, from her spiritual husband Christ Jesus.
In 1 Corinthians 11:7, woman is described as "the glory of man." Meaning man was made to manifest God's authority; woman was made to manifest man's authority. Man in a sense shines with the direct light of God. While woman shines with the derived light from man. Man is the image and glory of God. Woman is also the image of God, but she is the glory of man. God created man out of the dust to reflect His glory. And He also made a woman out of the side of man to be a helper to man and to radiate the man's glory. But as far as saving grace goes, as far as sanctifying grace goes, a woman comes as deeply in the communion with God as a man. She is made equally in the image of God and that image is equally restored through faith in Jesus Christ. She is as much capable of being like Jesus as any man is capable of it. She is capable of an eternal reward like any man would be in the spiritual realm, but in the human realm, she bears a position under the authority of man, therefore she reflects the glory of man who reflects the glory of God in looking at the sovereign responsibility of man.
A woman is designed to
nurture, enhance and multiply anything you give to her, That is why when you
give a woman an idea, she will give you a plan. You give her a house, she will give
you a home. You give her a sperm, she will give you a child. And if you give her
trouble she will give you hell, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and
running over she will cause you to see fire. You love her and she will make you to
be the man you are destined to be. A WOMAN ONLY GIVES BIRTH TO WHAT A MAN PUTS
IN HER WOMB!
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