DEALING WITH LYING PARTNER!!!

Dealing with a lying partner can be one of the greatest challenges in a relationship/marriage. Proverbs 6:16-17 says,"There are six things the Lord hate which includes a lying tongue........". Also Proverbs 26: 28 says, "A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin". Trust is a vital foundation in a relationship. When a partner lies, the greatest impact is that trust is eroded. The strength of any relationship or marriage is dependent on the quality of the trust in it.Trust is very fragile. Once broken, it can't be put back together as before. Marriage and relationships must encourage and reward truth telling. The way you handle a lie determines if your partner will stop lying or continue lying. We must learn to correct and confront lies in love. Every lie has a root. Except discovered, there will be more lies. If a partner lies out of fear which most partners do, then you need to address the fear in the relationship. Dealing with a Lying partner, how to approach the situation; So you caught your spouse lying,you are really hurt and upset. What do you do? How do you confront the situation? Do you approach it as a "conversation" or as a "confrontation". You must speak as a team trying to find out a solution. Rather than as though you are opponents in battle. When you do speak to your spouse, do not focus on “the lie” or “the lying, if you do, the conversation might turn bad. So rather than focusing on the lie itself, focus on the specific issues at hand, talk about what YOU thought or how YOU feel. Approaching discussion as “confrontation” usually results in competitive mindset, causing a partner to react defensively. In other words, trying to blame, attack or point out your partner’s misdeeds won’t get you very far or resolve the problem. Make it a conversation where your spouse can hear what you are trying to say without feeling like they are being attacked. Even though your partner is guilty of lying, Confrontation/ accusation only make them more defensive or withdraw. Instead of focusing on the lie, approach the problem in the least judgmental way possible. Make your partner see that the act of lying, hurts you and make you less confident in relationship you both share. Let you partner know you feel betrayed when lied to, rather than throwing accusations at them. This way, you can be sure your partner will listen to you and you can work things out from there. With this approach,you can create a sense of understanding and a willingness to discuss problems without a lot of negativity. This will also let  your spouse feel more comfortable discussing issues in the future.