FORGIVENESS

We always talk about forgiveness as a key ingredient in long lasting marriage relationship. But we forgot that a key ingredient in the forgiveness process is a sincere apology. In order for the forgiveness process to be meaningful, the person apologizing for his/her transgression must realize that when you apologize, when you say “I’m sorry” and really mean it, you are implying the following; I will work to change my behavior…I may not be perfect, but I will be mindful of how I hurt you and adjust my actions accordingly. 

An apology without a change in behavior at some point becomes meaningless, and the potential fallout is that over time your words and promises will be seen as hollow and you will be perceived as insincere and hypocritical. When our words stop mattering to our loved ones, when our words cannot be counted on, a betrayal of trust has occurred and the very foundation of the relationship is seriously compromised. So be mindful when you apologize, mindful of the responsibility that comes with your “I’m sorry.” Your words have significant power to influence and impact your partner but this power exists only when followed by behaviors and actions that support the underlying meaning of what you are vocalizing. No relationship will last if there is no trust. Partners can build trust to each other through time. It isn’t earned overtime and the only way for the marriage to endure if the couples are truthful and responsible.

A baby heart grown adults in a marriage is what every couple needs for sustenance of unity in a marriage relationship, but it does not ignore the fact that someone is being hurt but it becomes easy to forgive and forget and keep loving the person when the wrong done is realized and a sincere apology made. This is achievable when the Holy Spirit is at work in the heart of the couple.

Loving someone means having the courage to say you are sorry when your actions have hurt them and having faith in the strength of your relationship to handle the ensuing conflict. It also means having the grace to accept the apology of your partner and move on. These two steps of forgiveness open the door to effective communication to determine the actions you both will take to set things right and move forward into a stronger relationship.

 Loving your spouse is all about forgiveness, compassion, sacrifice, commitment, respect, encouragement, submission, etc. When you act on these things called love in your marriage, through your behaviors toward each other, this is how a husband loves his wife and a wife her husband; it is the fruit of the Spirit of Christ. What an awesome gift we have been blessed with! Be accountable to God and to your spouse in the marriage and start taking responsibility.