Thursday, 6 February 2014
RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES TO AVOID!!!
For us to experience bliss in our relationship, I have carefully outline the mistakes we need to avoid. Mistakes are inevitable as it is commonly said but it can be avoided or limited when we observe the pointers that can prevent us from making a regrettable one. Carefully read through the following mistakes to avoid.
1. Don't assume your partner would know how you feel
Communicate your feelings. Man and woman are two different gender. They see things differently and as a result what tickles a man and woman are different. Many people think their partner should know how they feel, what they are thinking of and their mood. However, this usually does not work as we think. Find the right avenue to discuss how you feel. Assumption does not solve issues it only compound problems.
2. Never expect much from your relationship
Failure to meet your expectations could bring about disappointments. A lot of people usually expect their partner to satisfy all their needs. For instance, your partner cannot give you joy no matter how caring or affectionate they might be. If your joy is not from the inside, no one else can make you joyful. Don't make your expectations high. They are human and cannot meet all. But when you have low expectations, you won't have much of heartache or emotional trauma.
3. Avoid cheating on your partner
Try as much as possible to confide in them emotionally and sexually and remain faithful. Don't keep anyone as your confidant other than your spouse. Cheating destroys the trust and happiness in a relationship. Stay away from all avenues to cheat on your partner. Also no man or woman can keep their partner faithful. The fear of God keeps a man/woman faithful.
4. Avoid playing the blame game
Blame does no good to a relationship or one's partner other than frustrate life out of them. When you blame your partner, it shows that you are shelving your responsibility off you. Be courageous and bold enough to be responsible for your actions. Also, rather than blame, mutually discuss any issues that can affect your partner or the relationship.
5. Don't promise what you cannot fulfill. Only do what is within your limit
As people seek to be loved or accepted in a relationship, they often tend to magnify their capacities. Hence, this will make them dishonest or feel unworthy with their partner. In a bid to be accepted, do what you can do and promise what you can fulfill.
6. Don't dwell on residual knowledge
A lot of us usually believe we have what it takes to handle our relationship in terms of knowledge and wisdom. But we often dwell on our residual knowledge and this will not help us. We need more experiences and ideas from people who have practical and proven knowledge about relationships. Read books, attend seminars and listen to educative programs. This will equip you with the knowledge to handle your relationship. The Bible in 1 peter 3:7 says, "Husband dwell with your wife according to knowledge, giving honor unto her......." Without acquiring the necessary knowledge from God on how to dwell with your partner, you will only be living together and not dwelling together.
7. Don't do it alone, involve God
It is believed that a threefold cord is not easily broken. Who you share intimacy with in your relationship determines the strength of your relationship. Most of us involve friends, parent or colleagues in our relationship but their contribution usually affects us negatively. When you involve God in the affairs of your relationship, He will give you the strength and wisdom to handle any issues. Don't believe you can do it successfully without God. Psalm 89:21 says, "With whom my hand shall be established: mine arm also shall strengthen him." If God bring you to it, He will also take you through it.
8. Don't try to make a wrong relationship work
After seeing warning signals, most people blindly remain in their relationship thinking they can make it work. An abusive partner may not change even if you do all you can. Be sensitive to use your head and heart in determining the real nature of your partner. Don't be carried away by a show of affection or love. They are not genuine. Don't waste your time and resources on making a wrong relationship work. It is better to have a broken engagement than to build on a faulty relationship. What God is not in, will not work no matter the effort you put into it.
9. Don't just profess love but express it
Love is best practiced when it is not only professed but expressed. It is expressed in words and deeds through sacrifice and commitment. Don't just say "I Love You", say it when you mean it and when you need to reaffirm your vows to your partner. Love is action not words, people treat you the way they feel about you, words lie, actions don't. If you know what right but don't do it, you are in the same category with the person that do not know. The need to feel #Loved is a top #Emotional need we all have. Learn how the one you love needs to feel Loved.!!
10. Don't remain as you are
Work to improve yourself in all areas of your life. Develop your emotional, spiritual, financial and mental life. Stagnancy sucks relationship and slow poke its growth. Endeavor to be matured emotionally as this would save you from being hurt or pained. Maturity creates a level of independence for you in your relationship. Don't remain immature this year. The Bible says that God's grace is sufficient for us. Always ask for God's grace to develop a quality character that reflect Jesus and knowledge required daily to be able to sustain your relationship to the end
11. Don't be suspicious
Do not create room for suspicion in your relationship. Be consistent always in what you say or do. Because suspicion creates a form of doubt and negative image of the person that is suspected. It breeds worry and fear even if it lack an element of truth. When you become suspicious, it will affect the trust level of your relationship. Don't create an avenue to be suspected rather discuss any issues that can lead to suspicion. Be open in discussion and avoid secrecy.
12. Don't dwell on falsehood
"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". There are many people who are envious of your relationship and the only way to ruin it is when they say untrue things about it. Don't hold on to lies, falsehood or untrue statement; however, seek to know the truth from your partner by communicating effectively. Don't react to hearsay but find the truth.
13. Avoid becoming impatient
It takes patience to make relationship work. Impatience causes a lot of havoc such as anger, abuse, nagging and other issues. There are some issues that can be solved amicably with "I'm sorry" but impatience will magnify it. Cultivate patience in your lifestyle and relationship. Patience does not mean you are silly or weak, it only shows your level of maturity.
14. Avoid living a false life
Be yourself! Many people live less than their true self by trying to please others. This will make them function less than their original self. Try to be yourself and live your best. It is better that you are accepted the way you are than to be accepted for who you are not. Don't make the mistake of living a false life, it shows you lack originality and stability.
Mistakes can be avoided in your relationship when you follow the necessary steps. Don't live in assumption but talk out issues, don't be suspicious but clarify any element of doubt, don't live a false life but be your real self. Never cheat on your partner but ensure to remain faithful to your promises. A single mistake can affect the success of your relationship. Endeavor to avoid it as much as you can. Remember, issues are inevitable but can be limited. PEACE!!!!
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