1. Be Christ-Centered.
The most foundational trait for being a good christian brother or good christian sister is to be Christ-Centered. Any girl or boy that does not have Christ as his or her center will not be able to become a godly girlfriend/boyfriend or have a healthy, God-honoring relationship. Such a man or woman will be in danger of having his or her friend become her or his center, his or her all, his or her everything which is honestly, idolatry. Anything coming first in your heart, before Christ, is your god as the Bible says in Deutronomy.11:16.“But be careful. Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods".The greatest command for God’s followers is to love Him with ALL their hearts and souls. You must love God foremost before you can truly love a christian brother or christian sister during your period of dating without committing an immoral act.
2. Be Confident in Christ.
Know who you are in Christ and exactly how He feels about you. You don't go about “fishing” for compliments or need constant assurance of your friend's feelings. If you do that you will tend to worry a lot in that relationship. And in your insecurity, you keep worrying about the future of the relationship, how he or she is feeling, or if he or she finds you attractive. Your confidence should be built upon the fact that you know who you are in Christ and not upon the compliments or praises coming from your christian brother or christian sister. John 12:43 says,"For they loved human praise more than the praise of God". A godly christian man or christian sister walks with confidence, with a smile on his or her face because she or he knows whose child he or she is. You should fear the Lord and trust in His promises for you. Don’t get me wrong, hearing friend compliments or hearing how he or she feels is great, and should definitely express he or she cares for you, but be careful if that brings a smile to your heart more than knowing God, who created you, loves you more and thinks you are far more beautiful than any man or woman could.
3. Be Encouraging
As a godly christian brother’s or christian sister's Christ-centered, you should encourage your friend in his or her relationship with God. It’s as simple as saying, “Ok, we’re going to end hanging out earlier tonight because I need time with God ” or “What’d you learn at church today?” While the godly christian man encourages his christian sister’s relationship with God, he does not lead her in it or to it. She should already be actively going to church, not going just because he started taking her. He’s an encourager, not enforcer or leader. 1 Thess.5:11 says; "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing". Romans 1:12 says: "When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours". Each person must have her or his own growing relationship with God. Not only do you encourage your christian brother or christian sister spiritually, you also encourage them emotionally Proverbs 21:7 says."The violence of the wicked sweeps them away, because they refuse to do what is just". Everyone especially Guys need to know they are respected. If your male friend gets a scholarship, a job promotion, let him know you’re proud of him and vice versa.
4. Be Supportive
A good christian sister supports his hobbies as said in Phil.2:4: "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too". Find out what your male friend’s interested in and support him. Play a video game with him sometimes. Listen to him practice the guitar. Whatever it is, show you care about the things that matter to him, not just what matters to you. Also the christian brother should make her female friend responsible. Seek her advice to show that you value her opinion. Include her in your decision-making process.
5. Be Independent.
A godly christian sister not only has her own spiritual walk but also HER OWN LIFE. Eccl. 4:9-10 says."You have captured my heart, my treasure,* my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. 10 Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices". Even in Song of Songs, the friends protected, encouraged, and held their beloved female friend accountable. A christian brother should make her female friend accountable. Make sure she shares with the reward and consequences of the decision you both made together. She does not throw away her own interests and desires. Don’t forget, your interests and hobbies make you both unique and special. A godly christian sister keeps seeking God’s will for her life. keeping with the plans she knows the Lord has for her and don't change your degree to match his or start planning on living where he is. Don't plan your life around him but around what you know God has for you at that moment in your life till you are married. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take".
6. Be Nice
Is Christ your first love? Do you date godly guys? Are you thoughtful of your male friend or female friend? When these 3 things are in check and God is the center of your dating life, then the dating road will be a lot less bumpy. Of course, not every relationship will end in marriage but each one will be healthier, more God-honoring, and filled with a lot less regrets because God’s in control.
