HOW DOES A HUSBAND AND WIFE GROW IN CHRIST’S IMAGE
Men and
women are different species and unique in their expressions of love. Men talk for information and women talk for
affection. Men say what they mean and women say what they feel. Men are logical
and women are intuitive. Men have a lot of physical energy and women have more
of emotional energy. A woman marries looking for fulfilment in her relationship
with her husband. Her husband on the other hand marries looking for fulfilment
outside the marriage in his job or in a hobby. In a normal marriage, we find a
wife trying to get her needs met in her husband and the husband wanting his
wife to be with him while he gets his needs met outside the home. Wives want
relationship. Husbands want companionship. God wants to be at the center of every marriage, so He made the
relationship so difficult that we have to keep Him there to make it work.
That's just like God, isn't it? He makes sure that He is the answer to all of
life's problems. No two people can make marriage work by themselves. God knowing this, puts these two together with the intent that overcoming
their differences will help make them conform in the image of His SON Jesus
Christ. He wants neither one to try to get their ‘needs’ met in the other. He
put them in the relationship to learn to be givers and not takers. God knows
that that is our greatest need. That is why He commanded husbands to love their
wives and wives to submit to their husband in Ephesians chapter 5.
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
One problem in understanding the truth of this is that the
wife’s needs do sound nobler than her husband’s, since she puts so much
emphasis on the relationship. Yet God has not called us to commit to a
relationship (or even to get anything out of it). He called us to commit to a
person. There is a big difference between a loving a person and loving a
relationship.
A genuine loving commitment to a person requires selflessness
– your goal being to give and get nothing back.
1 Corinthians 13:5
Doth not
behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh
no evil;
Loving a relationship on the
other hand feeds on selfishness because it is committing yourself to something you
will benefit from. When a relationship is more valued than the person,
impatience, anger, and frustration will flourish in the relationship. Giving to
get is never consistently satisfying.
If we are ever to find joy in our
marriages, we must never lose sight of God’s goal for us –complete
selflessness. For only in that kind of submission to God will you find joy. Only
when we are truly submitting to God and honoring our mate the way He has
commanded will we find satisfaction and fulfilment.
Furthermore, through trials and
challenges we are shaped into the image of Christ. Since God’s primary purpose
is for us to be conformed into the image of Christ, He uses difficulties and
challenges to refine our character and strengthen our faith. Growth, both
natural and spiritual comes by only through challenges.
Hebrews 5: 8
Though he were
a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
