Thursday, 31 October 2013

IS MONEY IMPORTANT IN A MARRIAGE?

Money is very important in a marriage because this will determine the success of the relationship. Without money, couples and children are affected.


Although money is not everything in a relationship, money could make or unmake a relationship. Money is very important to people especially to couples. Many relationships have failed and died a natural death because of money. Although we hate to admit it, money is often times the root of all the problems in a relationship.
When the family’s financial status becomes unstable, the relationship of couples are affected. What is worse, the kids often are the worst affected especially when they are still going to school. If money is the problem, kids are sometimes transferred to cheaper schools.  The other needs are controlled and sometimes the quantity and quality of food is reduced.  Extra-expenses are cut off and only the necessities are provided.
Many relationships have gone sour because of money. Couples must both have good sources of income to provide for the family’s needs. If one is earning more than the other, what usually happens is there is a conflict between the couples. This means that money is very important in a relationship, whether it is for spending or it is the principle behind it.  Some couples fight because one of them does not know how to save money.

The need of the family

At the start, couples do not have children. There are no additional mouths to feed and they can live a lifestyle that they choose to have. When kids come, changes follow. There is no problem at all if the couple is earning that much to provide well for the kids but in some situations, the couple maybe earning just enough which make life with children hard to cope with. Sometimes, the problems start from here when additional expenses are needed for the children.

How important money is to a relationship depends on many factors:

The lifestyle of the family

The importance of money in a relationship sometimes depends on what lifestyle the couple or family chooses to have. Simple people often have happy relationships even with just enough money to spend. Those who aim for a more luxurious lifestyle often end up being unhappy because they choose a life that they sometimes cannot afford. If there is no more money to spend, relationships often get into trouble. This is where relationships sometimes end.

The kind of job the couple has

Of course, those who earn more could afford to have a more comfortable life than those who earn less. Problems come when the couples could not provide for the family’s needs. If there is financial problem in the family, situations change. 


Communicate About Your Finances


You need to make sure that you will work together on your finances. This means that you should sit down and openly discuss where you are currently including all of your debt and assets. Once you are married you combine these. It can be very frustrating to have one person spend money frivolously while the other one saves money constantly. You need to work together to find a happy medium. You will need to come to major decisions together, and decide how to deal with financial pressures from extended family, or other tough financial decisions that may come up.

Set Goals Together

After you discuss where you each are financially you should set specific finance related goals as a couple. This can include getting out of debt, buying a home and saving for retirement. You should be specific with a timeline and amounts, because this will help you stay on track. Your goals will help you to succeed financially and retire comfortably. As you work together to achieve these goals you will find that the direction and purpose helps to strengthen your marriage.
Additionally, you should plan a budget together. This will help you to work together to achieve your goals. It also sets up clear spending guidelines. When you are budgeting as a couple, it is essential that you communicate on a regular basis. At first, you may need to go over the budget every night and report your spending to each other. Once you have been budgeting for a few months, you may be able to talk about your finances just twice a week. By discussing what you have spent and keeping a running total of your budget, you will both be involved the daily financial decisions and work together as a team. As you work at it, preparing a budget will get easier. Take the time now to great good financial habits in your marriage. An allowance for both of you can help stop money fights and give you money to spend on some of the things you want each month.
Finally, when it comes to marriage and money, you should let go of the past and move forward together. If you are going to resent the student loan or credit card debt your spouse brings into the marriage, you may need to rethink getting married. When you are married you take on both the positive and negative aspects of the marriage. It is important to consider the debt and savings as ours instead of yours or mine. This will lead to a much more positive experience for both of you. You may want to talk to a marriage counselor or a church leader about these issues before you get married. Doing this can prevent you from going through a divorce and the financial problems that divorce causes. If your spouse refuses to combine finances, it may be a sign of deeper marriage issues. You should seek counseling to address the issue.
Money is very important in a relationship. There are lots of things that money could provide to the couples which could make the relationship better. Sometimes money could even buy happiness and joy in a relationship.  The things that you buy for your love ones and the material things that you provide for them are responsible for making the relationship in a family happier.  Many people think that they can be happy even without money but the truth is if you are hungry you cannot anymore say that. Money may not be everything that could make a relationship work but it helps if couples have money to spend and enjoy life together.  It is not the exact money that provides happiness in a relationship but it is one of the useful tools that can make a relationship more harmonious thus happier too.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY!

Marriage is the foundation of a family, and a family is a small church of Christ. It is the family that is the meaning and purpose of marriage.

There are many institutions in the world today, but only two institutions were established by God. These are the church and the home. It is significant that God chose to create the home first. A home starts when two people get married. Marriage is the most important relationship in the physical world. We should be careful to follow the rules that God has made for marriage. lf you follow God's pattern, you can have a wonderful marriage.

Marriage and family is instituted by God. It is not man's idea.  Let us look at Genesis 2 vs 18 -21:

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man* to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs* and closed up the opening. 

Man was not consulted. man has no contribution. It is purely an institution of God. So it is stupid to ignore Him when you are talking about marriage. The passage above said that man was formed from the ground(dust). We all know that dust has no value yet God put His breathe into a valueless thing. What He is saying here is when God step into a something that is valueless, He put His life in it. Without the life of God in a family, that family is useless like that of the dry bone in Ezekiel 37.  life must has the breathe of God in it for it to have a meaning and identity!

What is the breathe of God:

Let us look at these passages John 6 vs 63 and Isaiah 34 vs 16

Isaiah 34: 16 says, "Seek and read from the book of the Lord: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. for the mouth of the Lord has commanded, and His Spirit has gathered them". (RSV)

John 6:63 says, "It is the Spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life". (RSV) 

God's word is God's Spirit.The Holy Spirit gives spiritual life; without the work of the Holy Spirit, it becomes difficult for couples to see the need to work together for the singleness of purpose and for the success of their marriage. Crisis in any family is not Satanic but a wisdom deficiency. Without the word of God every family will remain a STATUE without life. Because the understanding of God's word and practicing obedience is a solid foundation to weather the storms of life together. Marriage is not a man's product but God's product and He left a manual on how it has to to function. And the manual left is the BIBLE! When the manual is not followed it distort and defeat the purpose for which it is created. No man can tell you how to marry. You need to go to the manufacturer for the manual. Psalm 11 vs 3 says, "If the foundation are destroyed, what can the righteous do"?No other foundation can couple lay in marriage that that which God has already laid. If you try to lay another foundation you will be useless. No man can have result unless he is willing to change and embrace and live by the principles lay out in the word of God. The ability to accept the truth and change is maturity. maturity is not of age but understanding of the word of God. And nothing can be truer than the true. NO OUTDATED TRUTH!

Things that will make your marriage and family difference:

1. The word of God must be your guiding truth. marriage cannot stand without the word of God.
2. Value the word of God most and you will never have a problem. For where there is God, there everything is good.
3. Live the word by applying His teachings in your marriage and you will then have a blissful marriage you desire.
4. Love and respect each other and make devotion and praying together a priority in your home. 
5. Never see each other as an enemy but the devil as your common enemy.
6. A man's acceptance of his role as protector is the true measure of his manhood in his home.
7. Set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your entire life around it .